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Joke of the Day -- 01/30/11

Joke of the Day -- 01/30/11 Photo

I wonder if it's Super Absorbent Fannie  Joke of the Day -- 01/30/11 Photo

| Closed on 02/01/11 at 08:00AM
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44.6671. Joke of the Day -- 01/30/11

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#3 | 1363 days ago

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#1 | 1363 days ago

 A man is dining in a  fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead   sitting   at   the next table.
> He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
> Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes  flying out of its socket toward the man.
> He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and  hands it back!
> "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she   pops her eye back in place.
> "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
> They enjoy a wonderful   dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks.
> They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams  and  he shares his. She listens.
> After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.
> They had a wonderful, wonderful time.  
> The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!

> "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
> "No," she replies. . 
> Wait for it. ..
> It's coming. .
> The suspense is killing you,  isn't it?
> She says:
> "You just happened to catch my eye."
#2 | 1363 days ago

#3 | 1363 days ago

#4 | 1363 days ago

#5 | 1362 days ago

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. 

"He's a funeral director," she answered. 

"Interesting," the newsman thought. 
 He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. 

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. 
 After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, then a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, the funeral director.  

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.  

She smiled and patiently explained, " I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
#6 | 1362 days ago
Nick__ (+)

A Sad Passing  

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Born and bread in Minnesota . Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half- baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

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