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7
Joke of the Day -- 04/26/11

I halve a spelling checker,
It came with my pea see.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I dew knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait aweigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the era rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

I've scent this massage threw it,
And I'm shore your pleased too no
Its letter prefect in every weigh;
My checker tolled me sew.



| Closed on 04/28/11 at 08:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room | Numeric Input Opinion Poll
6 Fans
Question
571. Joke of the Day -- 04/26/11

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#5 | 1192 days ago
dakmax924 (+)

Three cowboys, one from Texas, one from Kansas and one from Oklahoma went into a bar bragging about who was the baddest of the three.

The Texan said watch this and yelled at the barmaid, "Hey barmaid, bring me a pitcher of beer and get your ass over here!"

When the barmaid got there the Texan guzzled down the whole pitcher, laid his hand on the table, whipped out his forty-five and shot off one of his fingers. She was startled.

The cowboy from Kansas yelled out, "Hey bitch, bring me a beer with a shot of tequila and get your ass over here with it!"

Upon the barmaid getting there he drank the beer and tequila down, laid his hand on the table, whipped out his forty-five and shot off two fingers. The barmaid was terrified at this, especially after just witnessing the Texan.

The Oklahoma cowboy spoke out and told the barmaid, "Honey, bring me a whole bottle of tequila and hurry!"

Upon her arrival, he drank the entire bottle of tequila, unzipped his pants and slams his d**k on the table.

The barmaid screamed, "You aren't going to shoot that off are you?"

"Hell no ... I want you to kiss it. It will go off by itself."

.

  
6 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 1193 days ago

Hay Jon, zthat wuz verry funy$@!

#2 | 1193 days ago

Hahaha  Loved it. 
13  
#3 | 1192 days ago
dakmax924 (+)

#4 | 1192 days ago
dakmax924 (+)

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years...Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots
Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk ... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.
 

Additional note:  If she likes salt on the rim of her Margarita, she swallows.

#5 | 1192 days ago
dakmax924 (+)

Three cowboys, one from Texas, one from Kansas and one from Oklahoma went into a bar bragging about who was the baddest of the three.

The Texan said watch this and yelled at the barmaid, "Hey barmaid, bring me a pitcher of beer and get your ass over here!"

When the barmaid got there the Texan guzzled down the whole pitcher, laid his hand on the table, whipped out his forty-five and shot off one of his fingers. She was startled.

The cowboy from Kansas yelled out, "Hey bitch, bring me a beer with a shot of tequila and get your ass over here with it!"

Upon the barmaid getting there he drank the beer and tequila down, laid his hand on the table, whipped out his forty-five and shot off two fingers. The barmaid was terrified at this, especially after just witnessing the Texan.

The Oklahoma cowboy spoke out and told the barmaid, "Honey, bring me a whole bottle of tequila and hurry!"

Upon her arrival, he drank the entire bottle of tequila, unzipped his pants and slams his d**k on the table.

The barmaid screamed, "You aren't going to shoot that off are you?"

"Hell no ... I want you to kiss it. It will go off by itself."

.

#6 | 1192 days ago

now that is great right up my alley ,I also got a spell check  aka my wife
100  

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