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The trouble with... (Edited 09/09/11 11:41AM by Jess)
Cell Phones.
And pre-teens. Tweens? What's the difference? I honestly don't know...

So anyway, we don't have a landline. We haven't had a landline since it became normal (and logical) for both my husband and I to carry our own cell phones. When my daughter got old enough to grasp the concept of pushing the right button on her little Firefly phone to reach either me or her dad (or 911 for extreme) in case of emergency we got her one of those. That was all well and fine until AT&T discontinued them, because she could only call us with it, and it was convenient and comforting for her to carry when we went to the store in case we got separated, etc. I know, it's ridiculous and we never had anything like that when we were kids but I don't care...it put my mind at ease.

Anyway, now she'll be 10 in a few days and she still has a cell phone, used only to call her grandmothers from home when she wants to talk to them, and to call me or her dad when she's at a friend's, to check in. Well, and also for the previous mentioned emergencies. When she's home, unless she's on the phone with her grandma, I have her phone. And texting is disabled.

Herein lies the problem. We still have no landline, and while I understand it might be a decent idea to have one, I'm not spending the extra $ to have both that and individual cells. When I was 8-9, and started to be a little more social, my friends and I would talk on the phone occasionally. By the time I was 13, I had a phone in my room (not my own landline, but my own phone on the family landline). I'm at a loss at what to do here. I don't want to give her free access to her phone, but at the same time it's not really fair to her to not be able to chit chat with her friends just like I was able to at that age, just because times have changed and a landline is out of the picture. 

I guess I just have a few questions...
| Closed on 10/08/11 at 05:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
31 Fans 
 1. How old were you when you first started talking to your friends on the phone? (0 points)
45%a. This age
16%b. I don't remember
26%c. I still don't talk to my friends on the phone
13%d. Other
 2. Before you were an adult, did you have your own cell, a phone in your room, or even your own landline? (0 points)
10%a. I had my own cell
10%b. I had my own landline
32%c. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room
3%d. We didn't have a phone at all
45%e. Other
 3. With technology being what it is today, what do you think is normal (or should be) for a family with a 10yo? (0 points)
3%a. Emergency phone only
6%b. Emergency + family members
19%c. Emergency + family + checking in
26%d. All of the above + supervised social calls
16%e. Get a landline & they can use it
19%f. No phone use for the 10yo at all
10%g. Other
 4. What's the difference between a pre-teen and a tween? (0 points)
35%a. There is no difference
16%b. Pre-teen is ___ and tween is ____
35%c. I have no idea
10%d. Other

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#3 | 1104 days ago

I would just like to let it be known that I am not planning on letting my daughter have a phone in her room, nor am I considering letting her have free reign with her cell phone. Not that I really need to defend myself or explain anything to anybody else, but I do have limits - she's not that spoiled. 

Things are different now, technology wise though and that's something that needs to be recognized. Please don't judge me for the way I do things. Most of my daughter's friends already have their own cell phones that they DO have free reign with (that won't happen with Kiernan until she has a job, as far as I'm concerned....whenever that ends up being). The problem is, they're starting to call my phone to chat with her and that doesn't work for me. I need an alternative and I'm looking for ideas.


1. This age  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. Other  4. I have no idea  
  
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#1 | 1104 days ago

no way in hell would I let my 10 yr old have a cell or a landline phone in their room. If they are at a friends, the parents should be there, im sure they have either a landline or cell for my kid to use to check in. If they want to call a relative or a friend they can use my cell or landline while sitting on the couch and only when Im there. When my kids turn 16 and prove to me they will be responsible with it then they can get a phone.
1. I still don't talk to my friends on the phone  2. Other  3. No phone use for the 10yo at all  4.   
#2 | 1104 days ago

I can't really answer this, my eight year old has had a phone since he was seven.
#3 | 1104 days ago

I would just like to let it be known that I am not planning on letting my daughter have a phone in her room, nor am I considering letting her have free reign with her cell phone. Not that I really need to defend myself or explain anything to anybody else, but I do have limits - she's not that spoiled. 

Things are different now, technology wise though and that's something that needs to be recognized. Please don't judge me for the way I do things. Most of my daughter's friends already have their own cell phones that they DO have free reign with (that won't happen with Kiernan until she has a job, as far as I'm concerned....whenever that ends up being). The problem is, they're starting to call my phone to chat with her and that doesn't work for me. I need an alternative and I'm looking for ideas.


1. This age  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. Other  4. I have no idea  
#4 | 1104 days ago

#4   no difference.  whatever you call them,  they know everything and you know nothing.
#3    just like  a  pay phone in a jail.   you have 3 minutes and this call WILL be monitored.
1. I don't remember  2. Other  3. All of the above + supervised social calls  4. I have no idea  
#5 | 1104 days ago

WISAC1 wrote:
#4   no difference.  whatever you call them,  they know everything and you know nothing.
#3    just like  a  pay phone in a jail.   you have 3 minutes and this call WILL be monitored.
 I like the timed supervised call idea. 
1. This age  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. Other  4. I have no idea  
#6 | 1104 days ago

My daughter has had a phone stuck to the side of her head since she was 10.
1. I still don't talk to my friends on the phone  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. All of the above + supervised social calls  4. There is no difference  
#7 | 1104 days ago

Lobotomy Jones wrote:
My daughter has had a phone stuck to the side of her head since she was 10.
I think I did too - now I hate talking on the phone. I think that's just the thing; the only difference between now and then is that back when i was her age everyone had a landline, and all of my friends and I made full use of that puppy. I'd get yelled at all of the time because people would try to get a hold of my parents and the phone was always busy (this was before call waiting...I'm old). So while part of me feels weird about letting her use her phone for social calls, it makes sense that I would, considering I was always on the phone at her age...just a different kind of phone.
1. This age  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. Other  4. I have no idea  
#8 | 1104 days ago

Times are different, however I think by 10 years old I was on the phone. Because by the time I was 13 I was putting calls into the bookie. Just kidding, I wasn't calling the bookie, but I was filling out five team parlays for $5. I made money betting before I was old enough to get a job. I'd by games for the Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo. Damn how I miss the old days.
#9 | 1104 days ago

(Edited by woody050681)
I don't have any kids that I know of. And I don't use a phone or computer.
1. I don't remember  2. Other  3. Other  4. There is no difference  
#10 | 1104 days ago
BDV4U (+)

 I'm so old we had a party line growing up. If the other families were using their phone, that meant we had to wait until they were done and vise-versa, or we all just picked up the phone and talked to each other. When cell phones came out to the general public, they were the size of handbags! I still remember the car unit I bought when I took a sales job back in the early 90s. It looks like a modern camcorder.

My 10-year-old just got my old Samsung when we upgraded phones last month - only for emergencies. I only programmed his mother's, his grandmother's, my dad's & his wife's, plus my phones into it. The only outside number is his best friend's mom, so he can call them - if necessary. With his scouting, baseball and other activities, sometimes he gets separated from us and it's become necessary.

To answer #4: Pre-teen: 9-10; Tween: 11-12.
1. I still don't talk to my friends on the phone  2. Other  3. Emergency + family + checking in  4. Pre-teen is ___ and tween is ____  
#11 | 1104 days ago
Nick__ (+)

My son got his cell phone at age 12.

I got my cell phone at age 28 and I didn't have my own line when I was younger.
1. I still don't talk to my friends on the phone  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. Emergency + family + checking in  4. There is no difference  
#12 | 1104 days ago

 I had a line in my room as a sophomore in HS.  I think my first cell i was a freshman in college.

My ex swore when my daughter was 9 that she wouldnt get a cell til she was 16.  2 months later she had a cell (altho one of those firefly's at first).

I think it's ok (roll eyes to a point) for her to have a cell, but it needs to be watch.  my daughter honestly can't find her phone half the time, but she does more texting on it than calling.  i have no idea if boys are on her phone, but i was communicating with opposite sex on a regular basis about 7th grade.
1. I don't remember  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. All of the above + supervised social calls  4. Pre-teen is ___ and tween is ____  
#13 | 1104 days ago

BDV4U wrote:
 I'm so old we had a party line growing up. If the other families were using their phone, that meant we had to wait until they were done and vise-versa, or we all just picked up the phone and talked to each other. When cell phones came out to the general public, they were the size of handbags! I still remember the car unit I bought when I took a sales job back in the early 90s. It looks like a modern camcorder.

My 10-year-old just got my old Samsung when we upgraded phones last month - only for emergencies. I only programmed his mother's, his grandmother's, my dad's & his wife's, plus my phones into it. The only outside number is his best friend's mom, so he can call them - if necessary. With his scouting, baseball and other activities, sometimes he gets separated from us and it's become necessary.

To answer #4: Pre-teen: 9-10; Tween: 11-12.
I vaguely remember party lines. When I was about 5 or 6 years old, there was this lady in our neighborhood who was ALWAYS on the phone - I remember my mom complaining about her. Then one day I remember mom getting into a shouting match with her, which started with my mother asking her to please get off the line so she could make a phone call. Shortly after the shouting match, we had our own line.
1. This age  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. Other  4. I have no idea  
#14 | 1104 days ago

She could make calls on the computer. I didn't bother using the phone for friends until I was 12-13 and even then rarely. I was too busy playing sports outside with the neighborhood kids. It's different for girls though, they have to gab or "like oh my god... die!"
#15 | 1104 days ago

Kenne wrote:
She could make calls on the computer. I didn't bother using the phone for friends until I was 12-13 and even then rarely. I was too busy playing sports outside with the neighborhood kids. It's different for girls though, they have to gab or "like oh my god... die!"
1 - Your avatar is going to give me a seizure.

2 - She's only on the computer to use the educational sites her school sends home (right in front of me). I'm an absolute psycho about the computer.

3 - She actually plays outside a LOT, more than I think I ever did. But, on crappy days or during those crappy hours mid-afternoon when it decides to dump on us, I've started receiving calls on my phone. Sometimes just to see if she can come play, but it's getting old. You're right though...most girls are different. I'm sure she'll hit that "like, oh my god" stage, and I'll rather she use the phone in her bedroom than anywhere near me. 
1. This age  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. Other  4. I have no idea  
#16 | 1104 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)

1.  I don't think I was ever allowed to talk on the phone. I'm not sure when it would've been okay because I never wanted to talk really. I used it a little senior year but only after they went to bed. I bought my sister a cell against my mother's wishes when she started going high school.

2. No, but I didnt want one. See #1.

3. I would say landline here but since you won't get one, she'd just have to keep using mine, but that would be allowed sparingly.

4. Pre-teen is 11-12, tween is 9-10, IMM

1. I still don't talk to my friends on the phone  2. Other  3. No phone use for the 10yo at all  4. Pre-teen is ___ and tween is ____  
#17 | 1104 days ago

I was allowed to use the phone for 20 minutes a day, and no calls were allowed in or out after 9 pm.

My kids have had cell phones since they were 11.  They walk home from the bus stop unsupervised.
After our last trip to Key West, where the creepy guy rode ride up and propositioned my son when I was 30 feet
away, I think she needs one.  

Doesn't anyone watch Americas Most Wanted?   9/10 they are captured in Floriduh.

If you feel better with her having a phone, get her one.  Just make rules.
1. This age  2. Other  3. All of the above + supervised social calls  4. Other  
#18 | 1104 days ago
18packabs (+)

Started about 12 or 13, only one landline in the house, no privacy whatsoever. No 10 yr old should be on the phone except with Family. and a pre teen is 12 or younger and a tween is the piece of skin tween your @$$ and you know.
1. This age  2. Other  3. No phone use for the 10yo at all  4. Other  
#19 | 1104 days ago

JessNic wrote:
no way in hell would I let my 10 yr old have a cell or a landline phone in their room. If they are at a friends, the parents should be there, im sure they have either a landline or cell for my kid to use to check in. If they want to call a relative or a friend they can use my cell or landline while sitting on the couch and only when Im there. When my kids turn 16 and prove to me they will be responsible with it then they can get a phone.
Ha! Sounds like something  someone that doesnt have kids would say! 


#20 | 1103 days ago

Before i start explaining my choices, i'd like to say i don't talk much on the phone my phone bill is around 100 INR (~2$) a month. I prefer talking face to face and i try to use phone mostly as an medium to convey messages and not for discussions.

I only started talking to my friends over the phone when i was 15 and that too were mostly study related talks.
I was forced to buy a cellphone when i was 21. Till then i had a phone in the room or just outside the room.
Cellphones a convenience they may be are not particularly good for health they make us lazy, people talk for hours on the phone when they can walk for 10 minutes and meet each other. Communicating through technology is easy but denies the humane aspect of communicating saying something harsh is easy when you are not right in front of the person. Cellphones diminishes personal space too, through it anyone (particularly parents) can invade into your space anywhere at anytime.


1. This age  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. Get a landline & they can use it  4. I have no idea  
#21 | 1103 days ago

1. I was around 14/15, but that was in 1978-79.

2. we had a landline and it was in the kitchen only.

3. for me, 10 is to young to have a phone, cell or landline, of their own. my kids didn't get a cell phone until they were 13 or in the 8th grade because that's when they start being responsible (I hope). If they are not with my wife or myself they are usually with family or friends who have cell phones they can use if needed.

4. a preteen is any child from 11-12. a tween is any child from 13-15.

 

1. This age  2. Other  3. No phone use for the 10yo at all  4. Pre-teen is ___ and tween is ____  
#22 | 1103 days ago

8
It was the 70's.....my sister didn't want to hear me...so I got my own phone
1. This age  2. I had my own landline  3. All of the above + supervised social calls  4. I have no idea  
#23 | 1103 days ago

I was raised quite unorthodoxal- I had my own keys, knew all the phone numbers and my curfew was a little later than others. Plus I was taught how to ride NYC subways since I was 7 going to school by myself. My parents had no problem there since I went to the school my mother taught at ( 9 yrs of pure hell which I am ever so GRATEFUL for). The landline is a tricky situation but you may want to try what I have- I have a landline with basic service that comes to about $9-$10 a month. Most utilities, banks and other important agencies would like for you to have a home phone number instead of a mobile number. At least this way you know all calls comin in are paid for by someone else.
1. This age  2. Other  3. Emergency + family members  4. There is no difference  
#24 | 1103 days ago

1 - I hate talking on the phone.  Always have.  That's not to say I don't make time for it, especially with out of town friends. But I much prefer talking in person and email.  

2 - Cell phones started to get big when I was a junior in HS.  I've had one since I was a senior in HS.   

3 - How much are landlines where you are?  Haven't researched it in awhile, but here you can get monthly service for around $12/month(last time I checked).  know you don't want the added cost, but at least you'd be able to monitor all her calls if you so choose.  Plus you might get a random collect call from jail.  Those people are fun to mess with...or so I've heard.

4 - I've got a better chance of figuring out how Stonehenge was created. 
1. I still don't talk to my friends on the phone  2. I had my own cell   3. Get a landline & they can use it  4. I have no idea  
#25 | 1103 days ago

jswol54 wrote:
1 - I hate talking on the phone.  Always have.  That's not to say I don't make time for it, especially with out of town friends. But I much prefer talking in person and email.  

2 - Cell phones started to get big when I was a junior in HS.  I've had one since I was a senior in HS.   

3 - How much are landlines where you are?  Haven't researched it in awhile, but here you can get monthly service for around $12/month(last time I checked).  know you don't want the added cost, but at least you'd be able to monitor all her calls if you so choose.  Plus you might get a random collect call from jail.  Those people are fun to mess with...or so I've heard.

4 - I've got a better chance of figuring out how Stonehenge was created. 
 I'm not sure it's the cost of the landline so much as it is the hassle - just one more thing to worry about every time we move (which is every couple of years), ya know? With the cells, we just move - we don't have to worry about disconnect and reconnect and new numbers, etc. That's lazy, I know but still. And since we're in the military, I've never had an issue with banks or utilities or any other business really giving a hoot what kind of number we have as long as we can show proof of his orders to the area.

She already has her own cell (which she uses for emergencies, checking in, and talking to gma), so it would be just as easy to say "ok you can talk to your friends up to X amount of time, and you have to be around me when you do it" as to get a landline and monitor, I think. I'm pretty sure I've decided what we're going to do...I just need to make sure the rules around it are smart.
1. This age  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. Other  4. I have no idea  
#26 | 1103 days ago

Jess wrote:
 I'm not sure it's the cost of the landline so much as it is the hassle - just one more thing to worry about every time we move (which is every couple of years), ya know? With the cells, we just move - we don't have to worry about disconnect and reconnect and new numbers, etc. That's lazy, I know but still. And since we're in the military, I've never had an issue with banks or utilities or any other business really giving a hoot what kind of number we have as long as we can show proof of his orders to the area.

She already has her own cell (which she uses for emergencies, checking in, and talking to gma), so it would be just as easy to say "ok you can talk to your friends up to X amount of time, and you have to be around me when you do it" as to get a landline and monitor, I think. I'm pretty sure I've decided what we're going to do...I just need to make sure the rules around it are smart.
Now that I think about, prepaid phones are a pretty solid option.  Unless you just have her on your family plan.  I hear adding another line is very reasonable on most family plans. 

It's crazy how cell phones have evolved.  I still remember when having call waiting and three way calling was a luxury.  Kids these days....I tell ya!
1. I still don't talk to my friends on the phone  2. I had my own cell   3. Get a landline & they can use it  4. I have no idea  
#27 | 1103 days ago

Jess wrote:
 I'm not sure it's the cost of the landline so much as it is the hassle - just one more thing to worry about every time we move (which is every couple of years), ya know? With the cells, we just move - we don't have to worry about disconnect and reconnect and new numbers, etc. That's lazy, I know but still. And since we're in the military, I've never had an issue with banks or utilities or any other business really giving a hoot what kind of number we have as long as we can show proof of his orders to the area.

She already has her own cell (which she uses for emergencies, checking in, and talking to gma), so it would be just as easy to say "ok you can talk to your friends up to X amount of time, and you have to be around me when you do it" as to get a landline and monitor, I think. I'm pretty sure I've decided what we're going to do...I just need to make sure the rules around it are smart.
Why do you move so often? I would get her the phone, and give her your rules. In the end having the phone would do more good than harm.
#28 | 1103 days ago

(Edited by Jess)
Tiger_Pride2 wrote:
Why do you move so often? I would get her the phone, and give her your rules. In the end having the phone would do more good than harm.
Military.

Actually let me clarify, because sometimes people in the military don't always move like we do...the person in the military just gets deployed and everyone else stays put. My husband is in the Coast Guard. He gets transferred every couple of years; one at the least, four at the most.
1. This age  2. I didn't have my own landline, but there was a phone in my room  3. Other  4. I have no idea  
#29 | 1103 days ago

serious
#30 | 1103 days ago

Jess wrote:
 I like the timed supervised call idea. 
i think you can make her that type of best friend and give the phone ..cuz if you become her best friend she will find pleasure in telling you everything
#31 | 1103 days ago

Yep, your right I dont have kids...But I was raised that way.. no own phone, line, boyfriends ect..... until I was 16 and proved responsible.  I liked the way I was raised and I intend to raise my kids the same way.
1. I still don't talk to my friends on the phone  2. Other  3. No phone use for the 10yo at all  4.   
#32 | 1103 days ago

still not posting whom the reply is too... WTF
1. I still don't talk to my friends on the phone  2. Other  3. No phone use for the 10yo at all  4.   
#33 | 1100 days ago

jswol54 wrote:
Now that I think about, prepaid phones are a pretty solid option.  Unless you just have her on your family plan.  I hear adding another line is very reasonable on most family plans. 

It's crazy how cell phones have evolved.  I still remember when having call waiting and three way calling was a luxury.  Kids these days....I tell ya!
LOL do you remember when there was no such thing as call waiting or three way calling?
1. This age  2. Other  3. Emergency + family members  4. There is no difference  
#34 | 1100 days ago

alainpeartree wrote:
LOL do you remember when there was no such thing as call waiting or three way calling?
Absolutely.  I remember when it first came out and all my friends had it.  It was all the rage.  When my parents finally ponied up and got it, land lines were becoming obsolete.  Haha, the good ole' days!
1. I still don't talk to my friends on the phone  2. I had my own cell   3. Get a landline & they can use it  4. I have no idea  
#35 | 1082 days ago

Definitely Not Getting One. She Can Have One When She Moves Out Of My House. My Rules! I Grew Up With Really Strict Catholic Parents. I Live 30 Feet From The Ocean And I Still Don't Know How To Swim. Wasn't Allowed To Go Outside, Watch TV, Socialize with Friends Outside of School. I Never Resented the Fact That They Were Doing This To Benefit Me. I Understand That Now I'm A Parent. Sheesh, I Was On The Phones @ 22. Worked Out Pretty Well for Me.
#36 | 546 days ago

Crap 1 point loss

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