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What Are Some Of Your Favorite Sports Jokes?
Simple & To The Point...What Are Some Of Your Favoirte Sports Jokes??


i got this from Wolverines_2010 in The Michigan/Ohio State Sports Bar. I Was Telling This Joke All Weekend. It's A Good One.



A Michigan fan, a Michigan State fan, and a Ohio State fan, are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The Michigan State fan insists that he is most loyal and then yells, "This is for the Spartans!" and jumps off the mountain. Not to be out done, The Michigan fan next professes his love for his team. He screams,"This is for the Wolverines!" and pushes the Ohio state fan off the mountain
| Closed on 12/29/11 at 12:00AM
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Question
216.2351. What Are Some Of Your Favorite Sports Jokes?

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#7 | 871 days ago

A wicked Chicago man died and went to the place all wicked people go. The Devil decided to shove him in a room and cranked the heat and humidity up.

The man smiled. When the Devil asked why the man was smiling he said: "Just like Chicago in Spring"

So the Devil cranked up the heat and humidity more. The man removed his coat, smiled, and said:

"Just like Chicago in Summer"

This time the Devil cranked the heat and humidity to maximum.

The man removed his shirt and tie and said

"Just like Chicago in August"

The Devil then got an idea. He shut off the heat and turned on the air conditioning. The room froze in seconds. Ice was everywhere. Polar bears hid in dens because it was so cold. Satan, confident he had finally won, peaked in the man's room only to find the man cheering and partying frantically....

"The Cubs won the World Series...The Cubs won the World Series..."
666  
  
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#1 | 871 days ago

What do you call a beautiful girl in GREEN BAY?

A TOURIST!
3  
#2 | 871 days ago
unopescatore (+)

that game last night was a joke.



Anyway...here's the Eagles trophy case:

#3 | 871 days ago

 the houston astros
#4 | 871 days ago

(Edited by ankurnathmishra)
What is the Unluckiest way to get dismissed in a cricket match?
Caught by Kamran Akmal.

PS: I don't care if you people get it
#5 | 871 days ago

Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde together?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Old skiers never die, they just go downhill.

Baseball is just wrong, a man with four balls cannot walk!
 

54  
#6 | 871 days ago

The Toronto Maple(Make) Leafs(Beliefs)
#7 | 871 days ago

A wicked Chicago man died and went to the place all wicked people go. The Devil decided to shove him in a room and cranked the heat and humidity up.

The man smiled. When the Devil asked why the man was smiling he said: "Just like Chicago in Spring"

So the Devil cranked up the heat and humidity more. The man removed his coat, smiled, and said:

"Just like Chicago in Summer"

This time the Devil cranked the heat and humidity to maximum.

The man removed his shirt and tie and said

"Just like Chicago in August"

The Devil then got an idea. He shut off the heat and turned on the air conditioning. The room froze in seconds. Ice was everywhere. Polar bears hid in dens because it was so cold. Satan, confident he had finally won, peaked in the man's room only to find the man cheering and partying frantically....

"The Cubs won the World Series...The Cubs won the World Series..."
666  
#8 | 871 days ago
BDV4U (+)

You want to know why they never sell bottled beer at Wrigley Field?
The Cubs keep losing the opener!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Woman is rushing up and down Waveland Avenue frantically searching for her children that are missing. She is begging and pleading with everyone she meets if they had seen them. Just as she is about to lose hope, a voice from above calls out to her....

WILL THE MOTHER OF NINE MISSING CHILDREN PLEASE REPORT TO WRIGLEY FIELD CUSTOMER SERVICE AND CLAIM YOUR KIDS - THEY'RE BEATING THE CUBS 12-3 IN THE TOP OF THE 4TH INNING!!!!
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#9 | 871 days ago

ankurnathmishra wrote:
What is the Unluckiest way to get dismissed in a cricket match?
Caught by Kamran Akmal.

PS: I don't care if you people get it
I laughed.
87  
#10 | 871 days ago

(Edited by originalcrash78)
ms_hippie_queen wrote:
 the houston astros
Best sports joke EVER...
     Today is "Parent's Day" at school and all the kids are lined up to tell about their parent's jobs. Some even brought their mom or dad to class to share their stories. After everyone was done the teacher saw Little Johnny, sitting in the corner. Quiet and sad. "Come on up Johnny, and tell us about your parent's." the teacher said.. The child got up slowly and went to the head of the class.
      "Okay, here goes". Johnny said. "My dad works at a club. He keeps very late hours. Where he works, he dances for the men at the club. And sometimes, (sniff) they give him money...and he goes home (sniff, sniff) with them".
        The teacher was speechless. She asked Little Johnny to go out in the hall with her. "I AM SO SORRY" she said. "Is there anything I can do to help you?" Johnny said, "Heck no, ma'am. None of that stuff was true. I was too ashamed to tell 'em my dad plays for the Astros."
#11 | 871 days ago

A Michigan fan, a Michigan State fan, and a Ohio State fan, are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The Michigan State fan insists that he is most loyal and then yells, "This is for the Spartans!" and jumps off the mountain. Not to be out done, The Michigan fan next professes his love for his team. He screams,"This is for the Wolverines!" and pushes the Ohio state fan off the mountain
17  
#12 | 871 days ago
BDV4U (+)

A LSU alumnus, a Georgia alumnus and a Georgia Tech alumnus go to France on vacation. While there, they get in a bit of trouble and are sentenced to the guillotine. The time comes for the young men to face execution, so they are lead to the gallows. Given the option, the Louisiana State grad says, "No hood for me, a Tiger faces his enemy! Geaux Tigers!" With that, the executioner flips the switch and nothing happens. Under law, the man is set free.

Next comes the Georgia grad. "I also refuse the hood. GO BULLDOGS!" The executioner flips the switch. Again, the blade does not move!

Lastly, the Georgia Tech grad steps up. "I also don't need the hood. GO JACKETS!" Just as the switch was about to be hit, he yells, "WHOA, WAIT, Y'ALL! I SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS!"
77  
#13 | 871 days ago

(Edited by Scott)

A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium he's closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat that was 10 rows off the field, right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.  

As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man says no. Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?" The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1965." Well, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat?  A relative or close friend?" No," the man replies, "they're all at the funeral."

 

 

619  
#14 | 871 days ago

     
#15 | 871 days ago

Breaking news from Ann Arbor, MI, the University of Michigan library burnt to the ground this evening. Reports are that the Michigan Football players are distraught. It turns out that they hadn't finished coloring their books yet.
22  
#16 | 870 days ago

An Oklahoma fan and a Texas fan are both in the bathroom taking a squirt. When the Oklahoma fan is done with his business he gives it a good hard shake and flushes the urinal. The Texas fan seeing this says to the Oklahoma guy, "hey, dont they teach you to wash your hands after useing the bathroom at Oklahoma"? The Oklahoma fan says, "No they teach us to not piss on our hands when useing the bathroom"
#17 | 870 days ago

Texas players are so lazy, they marry pregnant women.

#18 | 870 days ago

Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game

They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniel's into the ball park. The game is real exciting and they are enjoying themselves immensely mixing the Jack Daniel's with soft drinks. Finally, one of them passes out.

Soon they realize that the bottle is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.

Question: Based on the given information, what inning is it and how many playersare on base?

Answer: It's the bottom of the fifth, one out, and the bags are loaded.
4  
#19 | 870 days ago

LOL  Funny!
14  
#20 | 870 days ago

How many batteries does it take to beat Michigan in football?  1-AA

Go Appalachian State!
#21 | 870 days ago

A kindergarten teacher explains to her class that she is an Oklahoma State Cowboy. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Cowboys too.
Wanting to be like their teacher their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not a Cowboy."

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"Why, I'm a proud Oklahoma Sooner," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is aSooner.

"Well, my mom and dad are Sooners, so I'm a Sooner too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

"Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Cowboy."


#22 | 870 days ago

 
619  
#23 | 870 days ago
BDV4U (+)

Scott wrote:
 
Glad to know that when Glenda finally shows up, I'll have company in Hell! LMAO
77  
#24 | 869 days ago

RichRod in Michigan...thats enough
1  
#25 | 869 days ago

Scott wrote:
 
thats great
1  
#26 | 869 days ago

Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America.

Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.

One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond.

"Bob, Is that you?" Earl asked.

"Of course it me," Bob replied.

"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"

"Tell me the good news first."

"Well, the good news is that yes there is baseball in heaven, Earl."

"Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"

"You're pitching tomorrow night
1  
#27 | 869 days ago

derms33 wrote:
RichRod in Michigan...thats enough
If B!t(hRod couldn't win in Ann Arbor, there is no way in heLL he wins in Tucson! That is the bigger joke.
22  
#28 | 869 days ago

richard_cranium wrote:
Breaking news from Ann Arbor, MI, the University of Michigan library burnt to the ground this evening. Reports are that the Michigan Football players are distraught. It turns out that they hadn't finished coloring their books yet.
That would never happen. If the library was on fire, then Red Benenson (head hockey coach) would just get drunk again and piss on the library to put it out. Hey...he's done it before...
94  
#29 | 869 days ago

richard_cranium wrote:
If B!t(hRod couldn't win in Ann Arbor, there is no way in heLL he wins in Tucson! That is the bigger joke.
Gotta disagree here.  They don't play much defense in the PAC 12 meaning his offenses should thrive.  They'll get smashed in bowl games, though.  How funny would it be to see RR beat Hoke in a bowl down the road? 

By the way, I heard the players that were in the library in Ann Arbor were studying for this class.
#30 | 869 days ago

jswol54 wrote:
Gotta disagree here.  They don't play much defense in the PAC 12 meaning his offenses should thrive.  They'll get smashed in bowl games, though.  How funny would it be to see RR beat Hoke in a bowl down the road? 

By the way, I heard the players that were in the library in Ann Arbor were studying for this class.
I heard Wash State signed Mike Leach to be their new coach, he should fit in just fine in the PAC 12.,
#31 | 869 days ago

Why do all the trees in the Bay Area lean in a SSE direction?

Because LA SUCKS!!!
31  
#32 | 869 days ago

ML31 wrote:
Why do all the trees in the Bay Area lean in a SSE direction?

Because LA SUCKS!!!
Congrats on the W over my Hawks last Wednesday.  The Shark Tank is pretty damn cool.  Just think...I could be rocking a Sharks avatar right now....
#33 | 869 days ago

jswol54 wrote:
Congrats on the W over my Hawks last Wednesday.  The Shark Tank is pretty damn cool.  Just think...I could be rocking a Sharks avatar right now....
That you could.  It's not a big deal, however.

I watched the game.  I think the Sharks dodged a bullet.  They won a game against a superior or even opponent  they didn't play well in.  Happens sometimes.  

In my travels I've seen other rinks I think look better than the Tank.  But at the risk of sounding like a homer I think the atmosphere in there for a game is 2nd to none. 
I hate to admit it but I like the Honda Center.  And really liked the old Boston Garden.  Haven't been to United Center yet.  One day....
31  
#34 | 869 days ago

ML31 wrote:
That you could.  It's not a big deal, however.

I watched the game.  I think the Sharks dodged a bullet.  They won a game against a superior or even opponent  they didn't play well in.  Happens sometimes.  

In my travels I've seen other rinks I think look better than the Tank.  But at the risk of sounding like a homer I think the atmosphere in there for a game is 2nd to none. 
I hate to admit it but I like the Honda Center.  And really liked the old Boston Garden.  Haven't been to United Center yet.  One day....
Not gonna lie...it was painful seeing our SC winning goalie shutout my squad.  The Tank had a great atmosphere.  I was pretty surprised.  They weren't as crazy as the Raiders fans at Yardhouse on Santana Row, though...and that place is pretty nice.  You'll love the UC if you ever make it out this way.  While I still prefer Old Chicago Stadium (it got LOUDER than you can imagine), it's still a great venue with no terribly bad seats. 

Quick question - is the In 'n Out near the airport new? 
#35 | 869 days ago

 
3  
#36 | 869 days ago

jswol54 wrote:
Not gonna lie...it was painful seeing our SC winning goalie shutout my squad.  The Tank had a great atmosphere.  I was pretty surprised.  They weren't as crazy as the Raiders fans at Yardhouse on Santana Row, though...and that place is pretty nice.  You'll love the UC if you ever make it out this way.  While I still prefer Old Chicago Stadium (it got LOUDER than you can imagine), it's still a great venue with no terribly bad seats. 

Quick question - is the In 'n Out near the airport new? 
Santana Row...  Upscale shopping place.  If you like hot Asian chicks, that is a good place to sit and watch for them.

The In 'N Out on Coleman near the airport (and near the Earthquakes stadium site) has been there for about two years now I think.  A few times I have hit it on my way home from work.  It's the 2nd In 'N Out to be built within the San Jose city limits I think. 

I was going to see the Sharks play in Dallas this year but budget cuts killed that trip.  My next sports related trip is this summer to see the A's play the Royals in Kaufman.  
31  
#37 | 869 days ago

ML31 wrote:
Santana Row...  Upscale shopping place.  If you like hot Asian chicks, that is a good place to sit and watch for them.

The In 'N Out on Coleman near the airport (and near the Earthquakes stadium site) has been there for about two years now I think.  A few times I have hit it on my way home from work.  It's the 2nd In 'N Out to be built within the San Jose city limits I think. 

I was going to see the Sharks play in Dallas this year but budget cuts killed that trip.  My next sports related trip is this summer to see the A's play the Royals in Kaufman.  
Santana Row is my spot for that very reason, though we spent most of my trip in SFO and cruising Hwy 1. 

Saw a sign for the Earthquakes "future home" right near the In 'n Out.  I take it they're getting new digs.  My buddy thought the In 'n Out was new because we were set to head to Sunnyvale until he Yelped it.  Finally tried animal style.  Good stuff.  

You'll have fun at Kauffman.  Haven't been since I was little, but that waterfall is cool and Arrowhead is literally right across the street.   
#38 | 869 days ago

(Edited by ML31)
jswol54 wrote:
Santana Row is my spot for that very reason, though we spent most of my trip in SFO and cruising Hwy 1. 

Saw a sign for the Earthquakes "future home" right near the In 'n Out.  I take it they're getting new digs.  My buddy thought the In 'n Out was new because we were set to head to Sunnyvale until he Yelped it.  Finally tried animal style.  Good stuff.  

You'll have fun at Kauffman.  Haven't been since I was little, but that waterfall is cool and Arrowhead is literally right across the street.   
Santana Row is not a place I would normally go but the GF (who herself is Asian and hot if I do say so myself) likes to go there for coffee sometimes.  So I don't mind too much. 

Yes, the Quakes owner is paying for the new pitch himself in return for the city re-zoning an area for him to build a housing tract, provided he uses profits to build the new Earthquakes field.  The housing bust delayed the project and the stadium was scaled back in size and scope but it seems to be on track once again to now open in time for the 2013 season.  (crossing fingers)

I was planning on the KC trip in June but I think I will delay it for August so as not to miss being in town when the Sharks win the Cup this year!  
31  
#39 | 869 days ago

(Edited by ML31)
An oldie but a goodie...  And most any team can be substituted in.

Custody battle in court.  The Judge wants to ask the kid his thoughts so he takes him to his chambers and asks him what parent he would rather live with.  "Your mother, perhaps?"  he asks. 

The child replies, "No Sir!  She beats me!"

Shocked the judge then says, "Your father then."

The boy replies, "No!  He beats me too!"

Considering the welfare of the boy first before taking action on this new information, he asks, "Is there someone you want to live with?"

The boy says, "I want to live with the Dodgers!  They don't beat anyone!"
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#40 | 869 days ago

(Edited by ML31)
An office worker in a skyscraper is working at his desk.  He happens to glance up and sees a figure drop by the window.  Unfazed he turns back to his work saying, "It must be June.  There go the Dodgers!"
31  
#41 | 869 days ago

A woman that favors younger men is called a "Cougar".
So is a man that favors young boys is called a "Nitney Lion"?
(too soon?)

#42 | 869 days ago
BDV4U (+)

originalcrash78 wrote:

A woman that favors younger men is called a "Cougar".
So is a man that favors young boys is called a "Nitney Lion"?
(too soon?)

Not as soon as calling him an assistant coach for Syracuse
77  
#43 | 868 days ago

BDV4U wrote:
Not as soon as calling him an assistant coach for Syracuse
...you say tomato, I say tom-ah-to.
They both are turds that breathe.  
#44 | 868 days ago
BDV4U (+)

originalcrash78 wrote:
...you say tomato, I say tom-ah-to.
They both are turds that breathe.  
That's an insult to turds! I was just inferring to timing.
77  
#45 | 868 days ago

originalcrash78 wrote:

A woman that favors younger men is called a "Cougar".
So is a man that favors young boys is called a "Nitney Lion"?
(too soon?)

Penn St...where you can now major in minors.

Penn St...where you get recruited as a tight end but leave as a wide receiver. 

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