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Asked By: richard_cranium

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Q-bituary

Choose a Q'er, kill them off, you get to write the obiutary. Have fun with it, if you want to participate but are afraid you might offend someone. Go ahead and choose me, you can not offend me. Remember the CoC!

| Closed on 07/18/12 at 11:45PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room | Numeric Input Opinion Poll

15 Fans	Question
222.467	1. Q-bituary

	&nbp;
TOP COMMENT
#13 \| 395 days ago ohwell_ (+)	ML31 Found Dead Police found the body of ML31, on the floor of his living room. Preliminary investigations revealed, he had painted himself into a corner, and died from asphixiation. Services will he held today and tomorrow to accomodate the expected overflow crowd. 419
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64 Comments \| Sorted by Most Recent First \| Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 \| 396 days ago richard_cranium (+)	(Edited by richard_cranium) I will start with Glenda. Glenda Fosterstein died on Sunday April 7, 2043. Glenda was tragically killed when her parachute did not open up. No one is sure when she was born, it turns out that the stone tablet that her birth certificate had been chiseled into had been lost years ago. She is survived by her most recent boyfriend, most simply referred to him as #632, names were too hard to remember at this point. Glenda is survived by her 2 daughters, 6 grand kids, 18 great grand kids. Glenda didn't get to see her beloved Cubs win a World Series, but it isn't like this is an uncommon occurrence, very few people live for over 135 year. 22
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#2 \| 396 days ago Jason_ (+)
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#3 \| 396 days ago richard_cranium (+)	(Edited by richard_cranium) Jason_ wrote: The only possible inaccuracies in this obituary are that I would never watch the voice or stab my genitals. But otherwise how scarily accurate this could be. 22
	9 Was this comment...? (2) (3)
#4 \| 396 days ago Jason_ (+)	richard_cranium wrote: I will start with Glenda. Glenda Fosterstein died on Sunday April 7, 2043. Glenda was tragically killed when her parachute did not open up. No one is sure when she was born, it turns out that the stone tablet that her birth certificate had been chiseled into had been lost years ago. She is survived by her most recent boyfriend, most simply referred to him as #632, names were too hard to remember at this point. Glenda is survived by her 2 daughters, 6 grand kids, 18 great grand kids. Glenda didn't get to see her beloved Cubs win a World Series, but it isn't like this is an uncommon occurrence, very few people live for over 135 year.
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#5 \| 396 days ago AlwaysSunshine (+)	I'll be back, you sick f**ks.
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#6 \| 396 days ago kobe_lova (+)	LMAO
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#7 \| 396 days ago John_Daly (+)	Kevin Teck died this morning from what doctors are calling "The bacon disease" It was widely rumored that Mr. Tetck ate upwards of 11 lbs of bacon per day. A neighbor stated that she often saw whole pigs being cattled into Kevins home in Flagstaff AZ on a weekly basis. Complaints have also been documented by neighbors to police which stated that they would often see him watching Antiques Roadshow in the nude in front of his window. Kevin was 37 years old and was survived by his Toyota Prius and a poster of The Undertaker from 1997. Services will be held at the Farmer John meat processing factory in Vernon, Ca. Heading up the ceremony will be the guy from the commercials who says "Hurry up bacon, man i'm gettin' hungry".
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#8 \| 396 days ago 18packabs (+)	I guess I will melt to death.
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#9 \| 395 days ago VIOLET (+)	(Edited by VIOLET)
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#10 \| 395 days ago derms33 (+)	I want to write Keebs', but i think one day, i may actually write Keebs' obit 123
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#11 \| 395 days ago DeeRigga (+)	Ohhhh....I wanna be dead! 86
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#12 \| 395 days ago kobe_lova (+)
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#13 \| 395 days ago ohwell_ (+)	ML31 Found Dead Police found the body of ML31, on the floor of his living room. Preliminary investigations revealed, he had painted himself into a corner, and died from asphixiation. Services will he held today and tomorrow to accomodate the expected overflow crowd. 419
	28 Was this comment...? (2) (18)
#14 \| 395 days ago Green_eyed_Deja (+)	DeeRigga wrote: Ohhhh....I wanna be dead! Me, too!
	2 Was this comment...? (1)
#15 \| 395 days ago marcus_nyce (+)	DeeRigga wrote: Ohhhh....I wanna be dead! I want a fake wake like McNolty's on The Wire. Bottoms up! 514
	3 Was this comment...? (1) (2)
#16 \| 395 days ago CAPTAINSEAFOOD (+)	my obit goes to clownie(michael) was found in his abode smothered to death by a pair of big...........................and a smile on his face 500
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#17 \| 390 days ago Jason_ (+)	Uh...this poll is way too f**kawesome to have died such an untimely death.
	5 Was this comment...? (2) (4)
#18 \| 390 days ago richard_cranium (+)	(Edited by richard_cranium) Jason_ wrote: Uh...this poll is way too f**kawesome to have died such an untimely death. Thanks, but it doesn't surprise me, maybe we should write an obituary for this poll. 22
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#19 \| 390 days ago Jason_ (+)	richard_cranium wrote: Thanks, but it doesn't surprise me, maybe we should write an obituary for this poll. People are v**inas.
	3 Was this comment...? (3)
#20 \| 390 days ago richard_cranium (+)	(Edited by richard_cranium) Jason_ wrote: People are v**inas. I guess I should make r-worded game type polls, then they would never end. Or maybe I should make birthday polls of non Q members. Oh well, it is what it is. 22
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#21 \| 390 days ago John_Daly (+)	Jason_ wrote: Uh...this poll is way too f**kawesome to have died such an untimely death. Yeah, I guess you just cant teach funny.
	4 Was this comment...? (2)
#22 \| 390 days ago ohwell_ (+)	richard_cranium wrote: I guess I should make r-worded game type polls, then they would never end. Or maybe I should make birthday polls of non Q members. Oh well, it is what it is. Auto respect for the usage of Ohwell. Jason lives! Yay, it was getting boring. 419
	6 Was this comment...? (5)
#23 \| 390 days ago Jason_ (+)	richard_cranium wrote: I guess I should make r-worded game type polls, then they would never end. Or maybe I should make birthday polls of non Q members. Oh well, it is what it is. Im going to type a word....you take the second to last letter after the first capitalized letter...and use the letter next to that to make a completely new word. FKING COOL RIGHT?!?! I cant wait...do that one do that one. That poll will blow fking minds, dude. Youll be the number one fan next week for sure.
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#24 \| 390 days ago Jason_ (+)	ohwell_ wrote: Auto respect for the usage of Ohwell. Jason lives! Yay, it was getting boring. Do i amuse you?
	3 Was this comment...? (1)
#25 \| 390 days ago richard_cranium (+)	(Edited by richard_cranium) Jason_ wrote: Im going to type a word....you take the second to last letter after the first capitalized letter...and use the letter next to that to make a completely new word. FKING COOL RIGHT?!?! I cant wait...do that one do that one. That poll will blow fking minds, dude. Youll be the number one fan next week for sure. That would be amAzing! Isn't it your 2nd ex-wife's third cousins birthday tomorrow? Should we do a birthday poll for Betty Sue? 22
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#26 \| 390 days ago ohwell_ (+)	Jason_ wrote: Do i amuse you? Most of the time. . 419
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#27 \| 390 days ago John_Daly (+)	richard_cranium wrote: That would be amAzing! Isn't it your 2nd ex-wife's third cousins birthday tomorrow? Should we do a birthday poll for Betty Sue? Are you indrectly making fun of woodys' moms birthday poll? Woody's mom is not just some lady, you show some respect.
	5 Was this comment...? (1) (2) (1)
#28 \| 390 days ago richard_cranium (+)	(Edited by richard_cranium) John_Daly wrote: Are you indrectly making fun of woodys' moms birthday poll? Woody's mom is not just some lady, you show some respect. No I am directly making fun of it! 22
	3 Was this comment...? (1)
#29 \| 390 days ago kobe_lova (+)	John_Daly wrote: Are you indrectly making fun of woodys' moms birthday poll? Woody's mom is not just some lady, you show some respect. :D
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#30 \| 390 days ago John_Daly (+)	richard_cranium wrote: No I am directly making fun of it! Oh. I should have known better than that. Sorry I misjudged you.
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#31 \| 390 days ago Jason_ (+)	richard_cranium wrote: That would be amAzing! Isn't it your 2nd ex-wife's third cousins birthday tomorrow? Should we do a birthday poll for Betty Sue? abSolutely .
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#32 \| 390 days ago Dream_Machine (+)	311
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#33 \| 389 days ago rockysnappyduke (+)	6
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#34 \| 389 days ago rockysnappyduke (+)	6
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#35 \| 389 days ago kobe_lova (+)	Jason_ wrote: Uh...this poll is way too f**kawesome to have died such an untimely death. You are right, but you know why this poll died off. On another note, if people would like me to kill people for them (other than myself), I shall. Just tell me who.
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#36 \| 389 days ago kobe_lova (+)	rockysnappyduke wrote:
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#37 \| 389 days ago ohwell_ (+)	kobe_lova wrote: You are right, but you know why this poll died off. On another note, if people would like me to kill people for them (other than myself), I shall. Just tell me who. Can you kill someone if you are already killed off by your stalker? Does the First Blood rule apply in this situation? 419
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#38 \| 389 days ago kobe_lova (+)	(Edited by kobe_lova) ohwell_ wrote: Can you kill someone if you are already killed off by your stalker? Does the First Blood rule apply in this situation? Ha. He killed some girl name Ashley. Poor thing.... idk why he thought that was me, but I have been relocated and am ready to work within The Organization.
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#39 \| 389 days ago ohwell_ (+)	kobe_lova wrote: Ha. He killed some girl name Ashley. Poor thing.... idk why he thought that was me, but I have been relocated and am ready to work within The Organization. Ha! I'm thinking some kind of farming/milking machine/auto erotica type accident. 419
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#40 \| 389 days ago kobe_lova (+)	ohwell_ wrote: Ha! I'm thinking some kind of farming/milking machine/auto erotica type accident. I see.... on it... after filter.
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#41 \| 389 days ago DeeRigga (+)	kobe_lova wrote: You are right, but you know why this poll died off. On another note, if people would like me to kill people for them (other than myself), I shall. Just tell me who. Kill me 86
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#42 \| 389 days ago kobe_lova (+)	Rocky Snappy Duke was found dead in his barn at dawn by his sister cousin. She says that she found him naked atop his favorite cow, Blue Bell. Sister cousin, Daisy, also said that Blue Bell was tied up and that Rocky Snappy Duke had hooked himself to the milking machine. There was a rope around him, a rafter, and Blue Bell, and she has no clue what he was doing. All she knows is that he loved that cow, and Blue Bell will likely need counseling. It appears to be some kind of country David Carradine situation. More details to come after the autopsy.
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#43 \| 389 days ago Green_eyed_Deja (+)	kobe_lova wrote: You are right, but you know why this poll died off. On another note, if people would like me to kill people for them (other than myself), I shall. Just tell me who. Pick me.... Pick me!
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#44 \| 389 days ago DeeRigga (+)	kobe_lova wrote: Rocky Snappy Duke was found dead in his barn at dawn by his sister cousin. She says that she found him naked atop his favorite cow, Blue Bell. Sister cousin, Daisy, also said that Blue Bell was tied up and that Rocky Snappy Duke had hooked himself to the milking machine. There was a rope around him, a rafter, and Blue Bell, and she has no clue what he was doing. All she knows is that he loved that cow, and Blue Bell will likely need counseling. It appears to be some kind of country David Carradine situation. More details to come after the autopsy. Oh snap... Nevermind!!! 86
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#45 \| 389 days ago JenX63 (+)	Jason, the beloved (snicker) Mod wannabe was found in his cubicle apparently stabbed numerous times with a huge golden star, one of many laying about. A red haired freckle boobed picture clutched in one hand and the words: " I asked him to change it", typed repeatedly on his monitor. Services to be held on Monday, unless something sports related is on, then, it will be the Friday after next! 367
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#46 \| 389 days ago kobe_lova (+)	DeeRigga wrote: Kill me Sir, The Organization does not believe in assisted suicide.
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#47 \| 389 days ago rockysnappyduke (+)	kobe_lova wrote: Rocky Snappy Duke was found dead in his barn at dawn by his sister cousin. She says that she found him naked atop his favorite cow, Blue Bell. Sister cousin, Daisy, also said that Blue Bell was tied up and that Rocky Snappy Duke had hooked himself to the milking machine. There was a rope around him, a rafter, and Blue Bell, and she has no clue what he was doing. All she knows is that he loved that cow, and Blue Bell will likely need counseling. It appears to be some kind of country David Carradine situation. More details to come after the autopsy. At least I died doing what I love And I also love watching some Kat Williams standup comedy by the way. 6
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#48 \| 389 days ago JenX63 (+)	kobe_lova wrote: Rocky Snappy Duke was found dead in his barn at dawn by his sister cousin. She says that she found him naked atop his favorite cow, Blue Bell. Sister cousin, Daisy, also said that Blue Bell was tied up and that Rocky Snappy Duke had hooked himself to the milking machine. There was a rope around him, a rafter, and Blue Bell, and she has no clue what he was doing. All she knows is that he loved that cow, and Blue Bell will likely need counseling. It appears to be some kind of country David Carradine situation. More details to come after the autopsy. Lord, all this time I've been calling him " Rocky Snapple Dude"....learn something new, huh! 367
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#49 \| 389 days ago kobe_lova (+)	rockysnappyduke wrote: At least I died doing what I love And I also love watching some Kat Williams standup comedy by the way. You're a rah-tard. and LOL, Jen.
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#50 \| 389 days ago DeeRigga (+)	kobe_lova wrote: Sir, The Organization does not believe in assisted suicide. What, in the presence of Orange Zest, do you mean assisted suicide??? 86
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#51 \| 389 days ago jswol54 (+)	(Edited by jswol54) Nick L Nick L died a tragic death late last night at his home in the Rogers Park neighborhood. He was celebrating the Cubs first series win of the season and jamming out to Zeppelin when his heart gave way. He is survived by his son and other various family members throughout the US and Italy. Nick worked in technology, loved his Chicago sports teams, and was a genuinely nice guy all around. He was also one of the founding fathers of Chicago's "Respect Women" campaign - a program started to help rid the word of misogynists and wife beaters. His "I have a dream....that no woman will ever be disrespected again" speech sent shockwaves throughout the world and will be taught in history classes for all of time. Services will be held Saturday night at 7p at the Weinstein Funeral Home in Wilmette. It's requested that everyone burn one down before entering the funeral home. It's what Nick would of wanted. RIP, Nick
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#52 \| 389 days ago kobe_lova (+)	(Edited by kobe_lova) DeeRigga wrote: What, in the presence of Orange Zest, do you mean assisted suicide??? YOU asked me to kill you.
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#53 \| 389 days ago jswol54 (+)	ohwell_ wrote: ML31 Found Dead Police found the body of ML31, on the floor of his living room. Preliminary investigations revealed, he had painted himself into a corner, and died from asphixiation. Services will he held today and tomorrow to accomodate the expected overflow crowd.
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#54 \| 389 days ago DeeRigga (+)	kobe_lova wrote: YOU asked me to kill you. I wasn't gonna assist you! 86
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#55 \| 389 days ago kobe_lova (+)	DeeRigga wrote: I wasn't gonna assist you! Ha.
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#56 \| 389 days ago jswol54 (+)	Alain Alain died early Saturday afternoon at the Q-BBQ while trying to defeat JSwol in a game of one-on-one hoops. He put forth a valiant effort in the loss. He only lost 21-20 (he was spotted 20 points, though). The cause of death is unknown at this time, but it's believed to be a cardiac arrest of some sort. He is survived by a family members in all five boroughs and across America. Alain served in the military, had a heart of gold, and was just a carefree, happy go lucky guy. Until you got him on the bball court. He may have been the shortest guy out there, but what he lacked in size, he made up for with sheer will and determination. Alain was always known as a winner off the court. His teams included the Yankees, whoever won the Super Bowl that year, Celtics/Lakers, and Man U. Alain also had a love for the cinema and music - areas he was well schooled in. Services will be held next Thursday at Frank J Barone Funeral Home in Brooklyn. It starts at 4pm and it's requested that everyone pour out a little of their 40 prior to entering.
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#57 \| 388 days ago kobe_lova (+)	DeeRigga wrote: I wasn't gonna assist you! If someone else wants you dead, I will consider it.
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#58 \| 241 days ago jswol54 (+)	Bump
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#59 \| 241 days ago kobe_lova (+)	(Edited by kobe_lova) jswol54 wrote: Bump ...and Fail. (or a certain other person is going to discover this. you sir, will be charged with aiding and abetting a terrorist if that happens.)
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#60 \| 241 days ago jswol54 (+)	kobe_lova wrote: ...and Fail. (or a certain other person is going to discover this. you sir, will be charged with aiding and abetting a terrorist if that happens.) Bump
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#61 \| 241 days ago richard_cranium (+)	kobe_lova wrote: ...and Fail. (or a certain other person is going to discover this. you sir, will be charged with aiding and abetting a terrorist if that happens.) This is a closed poll, I could be wrong, but I think that only those of us that posted in this poll can participate in it. Guess we will just have to find out. 22
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#62 \| 241 days ago kobe_lova (+)	(Edited by kobe_lova) richard_cranium wrote: This is a closed poll, I could be wrong, but I think that only those of us that posted in this poll can participate in it. Guess we will just have to find out. No, they just can't put in an answer choice. When we post in it, it moves it back to the top of the LR page. "He" still can post.
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#63 \| 241 days ago AlwaysSunshine (+)	(Edited by AlwaysSunshine) I was horrified to think the threadbomber revived this poll. Then I was horrified to find out the threadbomber did not revive this poll. Oy vay. **edited b/c I was so horrified that my spelling nazi self misspelled a word.
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#64 \| 241 days ago AlwaysSunshine (+)	And if an obituary hasn't been written for him by the time I get home, I will do the honors.
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#	Name	FanIQ	Answer (Red= You Disagreed)
15	rockysnappyduke 04/25/2012 02:43AM		6
14	kramer 04/21/2012 12:30PM		69
13	Dream_Machine 04/21/2012 11:35AM		311
12	DeeRigga 04/19/2012 03:49PM		86
11	WISAC1 04/19/2012 02:55PM		69
10	CAPTAINSEAFOOD 04/19/2012 01:54PM		500
9	marcus_nyce 04/19/2012 12:22PM		514
8	kteacher 04/19/2012 10:17AM		13
7	ohwell_ 04/19/2012 08:59AM		419
6	derms33 04/19/2012 12:32AM		123
5	Nick__ 04/19/2012 12:26AM		13
4	JenX63 04/18/2012 09:58PM		367
3	icfeet 04/18/2012 09:22PM		69
2	richard_cranium 04/18/2012 08:49PM		22
1	woody050681 04/18/2012 08:34PM		756