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17
Fair, a four letter word...
Hey. Growing up with a dad who spent time as a drill instructor for the Marines I was able to learn some pretty interesting life lessons and some cool bad words at a very young age. If things didn't go your way, it was just life. You sacked up, took your butt kicking, kept plugging, and STFU with the whining. As a parent I went a little (a lot) easier on my kids but the one thing that made me nuts was when my kids would say 'that's not fair' if they didn't get their way. I would say to them, 'you know what's not fair, being born blind, or without legs or arms, not having food to eat, or being homeless', the list went on and on. They would just look at me with their mouths open and walk away. They quit telling me 'that's not's not fair' shortly after a few of those sessions. 

My question(s) is/are: do you hear that a lot, does it make you nuts, do you use the phase yourself, and do these green britches I'm wearing make my butt look too big?

Thanks.
| Closed on 06/25/12 at 05:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room, Miscellaneous | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
21 Fans 
5%a. Beans, you want some cheese with that whine?
14%b. I hate to listen to whining.
0%c. I love to listen to whining.
0%d. My kids get everything.
0%e. I get everything.
5%f. I got nothing.
5%g. Beans, you know what's not fair?
5%h. This poll is unfair.
0%i. Everybody else gets all the cool stuff, why can I?
0%j. I want, I want, gimme, gimme... that's all I hear.
0%k. I want, I want, gimme, gimme... that's all I ever say.
19%l. Tell me of those bad words you speak of, Beans.
14%m. Tumbleweeds.
10%n. Sassafras tea and 45 minutes of Zumba.
5%o. The Other
0%p. Some Others
0%q. No Other
0%r. An Other
14%s. Yes, your butt looks big.
5%t. meh...

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#1 | 852 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
Your butt looks nice.

My siblings (and recently my kid said it twice) say it a lot... and I yell "Life's NOT FAIR, Get over it!" from wherever I am in the house.

I also randomly tell them for no reason at all, that life's not fair, and it gets harder...much harder, so they should go ahead and learn how to deal with sh** now because this mess they are going through now will feel like heaven one day, and I will not be happy if I have to go talk them off of a bridge because they don't know how to handle anything. We all go through sh**. Prepare for it.

I only had to tell Ryan that life's not fair, so she should move on twice. Now, she'll tell you (and her dolls) to get over it. I think she gets that from Jot.
  
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#1 | 852 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
Your butt looks nice.

My siblings (and recently my kid said it twice) say it a lot... and I yell "Life's NOT FAIR, Get over it!" from wherever I am in the house.

I also randomly tell them for no reason at all, that life's not fair, and it gets harder...much harder, so they should go ahead and learn how to deal with sh** now because this mess they are going through now will feel like heaven one day, and I will not be happy if I have to go talk them off of a bridge because they don't know how to handle anything. We all go through sh**. Prepare for it.

I only had to tell Ryan that life's not fair, so she should move on twice. Now, she'll tell you (and her dolls) to get over it. I think she gets that from Jot.
#2 | 852 days ago
unopescatore (+)

my pops was drill instructor as well & I heard much of the same expressions that you did...I will be easier on my kids as well....but not by much.....cause LIFE ISN'T FAIR.   they're still too young for these kinds of talks.
#3 | 852 days ago
Nick__ (+)

(Edited by Nick__)
My dad wasn't a drill instructor, but he could of been one, whenever he was around.  When my sister and I were kids, we were the "struggling" family' type. Both parents had to work (which was not common back in the 70's) and we made due with what we had!

My dad was either playing softball or bowling and was a work-a-holic when I was young and never saw him that much. Then my P's got divorced when i was 8 yrs old and whatever time I did see him before that, shrunk.  Then I moved in with him 2 weeks before my Freshman year and then I saw more of him than I wanted. He was very strict! And, to top it off, we lived in a pretty wealthy suburb and everyone around me was spoiled (in comparison) by their parents but he was old school and I had to earn what I got.....ha! Even when I earned it, I didn't get rewarded.....but, that's ok, now, it wasn't ok back then, but it's made me appreciate things more so than I might have if I were spoiled like the rest of my North Shore friends.

I think I might of said "that's not fair" a few times when I was a kid and my dad would reply back with "life isn't fair".  Since we didn't have much, growing up, we learned at an early age to appreciate the things that we did have and I never used that phrase again.

My son has used it a few times and I have ignored it - no reply back. I think the last time he said it, I said "if you think that's not fair, just wait until you are an adult".

As far as your britches go - GREEN?!?!?  REALLY?!?!   Not sure if it makes your butt look too big or like a giant booger?


Sorry for the rambling! blush
I got nothing.  
#4 | 852 days ago

When my kids used to say that to me I simply replied...Yeah well...Life's not fair so deal with it.. As they got older they eventually agreed with me.  Beans I never saw your butt so idk if it's big or not...and no! this is not a request to see it...lol
Tell me of those bad words you speak of, Beans.  
#5 | 852 days ago
unopescatore (+)

DallasFan55 wrote:
When my kids used to say that to me I simply replied...Yeah well...Life's not fair so deal with it.. As they got older they eventually agreed with me.  Beans I never saw your butt so idk if it's big or not...and no! this is not a request to see it...lol
u so wanna see his butt....stop lieing. laughwink
#6 | 852 days ago

unopescatore wrote:
u so wanna see his butt....stop lieing. laughwink
blush
Tell me of those bad words you speak of, Beans.  
#7 | 852 days ago

I consider Marriage and Children to be for letter words, also hugs may be the worst for letter word of all time.
This poll is unfair.  
#8 | 852 days ago

I've only heard that particular phrase once from my child, and I told her basically the same thing Ash does - life's not meant to be "fair", and if it were, we'd never succeed at anything...that she needed to learn to buck up and overcome obstacles in life. I haven't heard it since, and that was a few years ago. I think it had something to do with her wanting me to buy her something...she has since started working her butt off to earn allowance for stuff she wants that we won't buy her. I think that she still goes through moments that she WANTS to say it, but knows better...I can see it in her eyes and hear it in her sighs (hey that rhymed). 

She does whine about other stuff though too - sometimes she'll start getting huffy while she's doing her homework and I'll say "what's the problem? need help?" and I get (in a whine), "well I keep trying to recheck my work and not getting the same answer" - or whatever. It's obnoxious.
I hate to listen to whining.  
#9 | 852 days ago

I said it a few times as a kid and my old man always did one of three things: He started playing the crying violin, threatened to take me to the spanking machine in Hamtramck (had no idea where or what it was, but the name "Hamtramck" always frightened me for some reason), or he told me "build a bridge and get over it."  I had it pretty good growing up so I wasn't much of a complainer....except for church.  I HATED going to church as a kid.  Every single Sunday I had to attend CCD and then Mass.  I was even an altar boy (cue the jokes).  I could stay at friends house, but I knew I better be ready for church or else.  These days I actually enjoy it, but it wasn't always that way.   
#10 | 852 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
Your butt looks nice.

My siblings (and recently my kid said it twice) say it a lot... and I yell "Life's NOT FAIR, Get over it!" from wherever I am in the house.

I also randomly tell them for no reason at all, that life's not fair, and it gets harder...much harder, so they should go ahead and learn how to deal with sh** now because this mess they are going through now will feel like heaven one day, and I will not be happy if I have to go talk them off of a bridge because they don't know how to handle anything. We all go through sh**. Prepare for it.

I only had to tell Ryan that life's not fair, so she should move on twice. Now, she'll tell you (and her dolls) to get over it. I think she gets that from Jot.
Thanks for the butt confidence booster... OMG.

smiley
The Other  
#11 | 852 days ago

I don't need to tell my kids life is not fair.  They live it and see it at school everyday.

I do however, have to tell my 17 year old, to stop being a narcissist.  She thinks
the world revolves around her.  It's just a phase,  it's just a phase. 
Tumbleweeds.  
#12 | 852 days ago

(Edited by Beaneaters)
Good stuff in here. My dad always called the stuff that kicks your butt in life 'growing pains'. The older I became, the more I understood. My dad was survivor and he instilled that in me. My mom was always the negotiator, she would come in my room and tell me the ten year sentence of being restricted to my room had been reduced to 3 weeks. Man, was I a knuckle head.

*yeah, I edited something.
The Other  
#13 | 852 days ago

(Edited by richard_cranium)
Beaneaters wrote:
Thanks for the butt confidence booster... OMG.

smiley
I blame you for all the hugs that I have had to endure for the last month. It seems that everytime I leave a place, everyone insist on giving me a hug!
This poll is unfair.  
#14 | 852 days ago

richard_cranium wrote:
I blame you for all the hugs that I have had to endure for the last month. It seems that everytime I leave a place, everyone insist on giving me a hug!
Just let go and let it happen...
The Other  
#15 | 852 days ago

richard_cranium wrote:
I blame you for all the hugs that I have had to endure for the last month. It seems that everytime I leave a place, everyone insist on giving me a hug!
Tumbleweeds.  
#16 | 852 days ago

Beaneaters wrote:
Thanks for the butt confidence booster... OMG.

smiley

No, oMg! : )

and just cause...
Julio+Jones+Tampa+Bay+Buccaneers+v+Atlanta+t0q47ScZH_Pl

#17 | 852 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:

No, oMg! : )

and just cause...
Julio+Jones+Tampa+Bay+Buccaneers+v+Atlanta+t0q47ScZH_Pl

I am so ready for Falcons football. They will rock this year.

The Other  
#18 | 852 days ago

ohwell_ wrote:
I don't need to tell my kids life is not fair.  They live it and see it at school everyday.

I do however, have to tell my 17 year old, to stop being a narcissist.  She thinks
the world revolves around her.  It's just a phase,  it's just a phase. 
inform your daughter that the world revolves around ME and ME alone.  cool and she needs to get over it.
Tell me of those bad words you speak of, Beans.  
#19 | 852 days ago

i only heard heard "that's not fair" from my kids a couple times.  after they heard me reply  that "i don't give a sh*t what you think" i never heard it again.yes
Tell me of those bad words you speak of, Beans.  
#20 | 852 days ago

my kids used that a lot when one of them got something the rest didn't like when one of thier friends got to spend the night I would look at them and tell them I can't help it your friends don't like you,and they would mumble something and go on with what they are doing I have to say they all grew up to be fine adults so I guess I did it right
Beans, you want some cheese with that whine?  
#21 | 852 days ago

My daughter used to say it to me when she was very young. I told her get used to it, there is nothing fair in life. 
She now knows this and accepts it better than most people much older than her after all she's been through.
I hate to listen to whining.  
#22 | 852 days ago

I've heard that sh*t  from all three and i told them "lifes not fair, get over it". sometimes they think just because one gets to do something or gets something they should all get something. I swear I don't know where they got that sh*t from because that was never something we did in this house.

Laurel - if you find  out what it takes to get through to the narcissist, please let me know, I have a 17 y/o that thinks the same thing and sometimes just want to take her out to the lake and let her test these new concrete swim fins I have for her.
#23 | 852 days ago

(Edited by mojo)
 
#24 | 852 days ago

(Edited by Jess)
Re: 17yo narcissism...they'll get past it. I don't think there's anything you can say or do to get through to them - no, I don't have a 17yo but I certainly remember how I was back then (as well as all of my friends). We got past it as soon as we got out into the real world.
I hate to listen to whining.  
#25 | 852 days ago

17 year olds are *bleeps.* I was a *bleep* at that age. You were a *bleep* at that age. It's the circle of life.
#26 | 852 days ago

From the beginning, I have never let my daughters use "it's not fair."
My response to them is, "The system is inherently fair, it just isn't working out for you."
Even at 12, they now see it coming out of others and get what I have always said to them.
I hate to listen to whining.  
#27 | 852 days ago

I never said that to my parents. I didn't want to hear it. My mom was famous with her lectures and I was the youngest so I heard all of the ones she gave to my sisters. No way did I want to hear those again. 

As for my students.........they know my rule........"Complain or groan, makes me give them more work......and not just the one who complains, but all of them. " Peer pressure works lovely. laughLectures help too. lol
Sassafras tea and 45 minutes of Zumba.  
#28 | 852 days ago

My parent divorced when I was 10 and never did use the phrase that's not fair. And my 4 boys were never givin the chance to say it
Tell me of those bad words you speak of, Beans.  
#29 | 851 days ago

I agree! 
Yes, your butt looks big.  
#30 | 851 days ago

my 40-year old roommate doesn't say "that's not fair," but he does say "really?....really???" and he gets mad when i tell him he sounds like a 14-year old girl when he says it.
Tumbleweeds.  
#31 | 851 days ago

Fair, its just easier to say than CARNIVAL
meh...  
#32 | 851 days ago

**my mom always says "2 wrongs don't make a right"....to which I reply, maybe not mom, but it makes me feel a he*l of a lot better
meh...  
#33 | 851 days ago

derms33 wrote:
**my mom always says "2 wrongs don't make a right"....to which I reply, maybe not mom, but it makes me feel a he*l of a lot better
My response to that is always, but two negatives make a positive.
#34 | 849 days ago

Here's my 2-cents.....this wasn't fair...I mean it was fair...but the ump said it was foul...which wasn't fair...preserving the Mets first ever no hitter




So congrats to Johan Santana and the Mets anyhoo yes
Beans, you know what's not fair?  
#35 | 849 days ago
18packabs (+)

FOUL, is a 4 letter word too.
Yes, your butt looks big.  
#36 | 849 days ago
18packabs (+)

ohwell_ wrote:
is there an application process?
Yes, your butt looks big.  
#37 | 849 days ago

18packabs wrote:
is there an application process?
I thought you already filled it out............

wink
Tumbleweeds.  
#38 | 849 days ago
18packabs (+)

18packabs wrote:
is there an application process?
nope, I am lazy.
Yes, your butt looks big.  
#39 | 849 days ago

That babies can be born addicted to cocaine or other drugs because their mother has made some s**ty life choices is not fair.
That young men and women can go into the armed forces before they are legally allowed to have a beer is not fair.
That a six year old can lose her beautiful (inside and out) mother to cancer is not fair.
I constantly have to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, I have it pretty damn good. 
I posted this pic in another thread and I think it fits pretty well here:
#40 | 849 days ago

derms33 wrote:
**my mom always says "2 wrongs don't make a right"....to which I reply, maybe not mom, but it makes me feel a he*l of a lot better
My mom used that one all the time... She was also great for "I'm your mother, not theirs."  I don't remember us saying "It's not fair", unless we just got caught getting even for something.  My son had a friend when he was little who "got everything", but I only heard it once from him before mom's words came out of my mouth...."I'm Your mother, not theirs".  From then on, whenever he'd want something, he'd say, "When I get older, I'm going to get....".  He's now over a foot taller than me!  Hopefully he knows how to manage his money.    

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