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3
Taking care of the folks
okay fellow iquers my daughter was over last night and was telling about this couple that works with her,they both are managers in different sections,anyhow she was telling us they just put their mother(the husbands mother) in an adult care facility,she is in a wheel chair and can't live alone anymore.So my daughter asked them why they didn't take her to live with them ,their response was we have two teens and don't have time to take care of her.My daughter assured us that would never happen as long as she was alive.I guess my question is how do you feel about having one of your parents living with you because they can't take care of themselves,by the way there is no right or wrong answers so please let everyone have their own opinions without bashing them
| Closed on 07/31/12 at 05:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room, Miscellaneous | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
10 Fans 
70%a. Aways take care of them
20%b. Can't do it
0%c. I live in a tent ,no room
0%d. Wow,really
10%e. other

  
14 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
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#1 | 795 days ago

It will happen sooner or later. It won't be so bad as long as they don't want me to move out to California to take care of them.
Aways take care of them  
#2 | 795 days ago

My mother in law was unable to care for herself and wasn't able to walk anymore back in 2007, We had no choice but to put her in a nursing home because neither I or my X was able to physically move her  to care for her properly. Sometimes you have to do what's best for the patient and in our case that was the best we could do for her. However, she passed away in summer 2008 after a very long illness of colon cancer.
Can't do it  
#3 | 795 days ago

There is no way in hell I would let one of the people who gave birth to me come back and live with me. I would put them in a home. They didnt have time for me growing up, I aint got time for them now. I had to teach myself how to cook, clean, math, smoke, drink, and the birds and the bee's. (that was pretty cool though learning on my own!) So, when they come visit once every 2 years that is more then plenty for me!! Now, say if DallasFann55 needed a place to stay because she was ill, come on I got 2 extra bedrooms. I dont do diapers though!! J/K lmao
Can't do it  
#4 | 794 days ago

I took care of my family when they needed help.  With my mother, I didn't have that much of a chance in the end,  I saw her on a friday evening, and the following day she was gone, but I was holding her hand.  But with my dad, I stayed with him at his home, from 5 in the afternoon, till 9 the next day and then 24/7 on the weekends. The other times I hired a close friend to stay with him.  My father had never lived in the city, nor did he want to.  He didn't want to go to a home or hospital, he just wanted to stay at home.  He had knee surgery and had cancer which he got past, but he didn't get past his knee surgery.  He had an electric wheelchair.  He needed help to get in and out of bed, transferring, reaching, and I guess company.  These are the people that raise you, feed you, teach you everything.  They give you everything in life.  There comes a time in life that you give back, and it does not feel like a responsibility.  I have so much more to be thankful for.  You go through ups and downs, their feelings of "letting you down", yeah, you have a life too, but how many times did they put you "on the back burner", or say they didn't have time for you?  I can honestly say my parents were always there for me.  I gave back by keeping my father at his home where he wanted to stay, by taking him places, spending time with him, watching TV in the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep, going to the Dr, crying when he was sick, cleaning, cooking, paying bills, laughing, arguing with him, holding him when he died, and never holding it against him !!  And still to this day, I am a better person for it, I am so much stronger, I have so much more than anyone else (there) .....because I was there....My dad was diagnosised with terminal cancer in 12/98 ..3 mo after my son was killed on the job...he passed away 12/03
Aways take care of them  
#5 | 794 days ago

Hope they got the money to pay for that...cause I ain't got the room
Aways take care of them  
#6 | 794 days ago

I saw a bumper sticker that read "Be Nice to your Kids, they will pick your "Retirement" Home"....words to live by parents
Aways take care of them  
#7 | 794 days ago

I wish my mother was still alive (died approximately on Nov 4, 2009, no one really knows for sure since she was living with my 44 year old drunken, drug addict who-is-now-dead-to-me brother, who was so high and drunk, he didn't know for 4 days if she was alive or dead), because I would take care of her. She was one of my very best friends and I could talk to her about anything: music, politics, sports, movies, sex, drugs, love, marriage, etc...... What sucks is that she never got to meet my daughter, her first granddaughter, or my sister's 3 kids.
Aways take care of them  
#8 | 794 days ago

Dad passed away in 2002 and Mom is 300 miles away and still doing good on her own at 85 years. however she does live next door to my sister so any problems can be addressed very promptly.   i would help and look after her 100% if i was needed unless she got to a state like my uncle is in. he needs 24 hour care because of his alzheimers.  none of  the relatives are  qualified to deal with that along with his other health problems.  he is 89 years old and getting very frail.
Aways take care of them  
#9 | 793 days ago

I don't have parents, but if I did, I would hope that if I was able to help them I would. Medical conditions, ie,  dementia , medications taken would factor into any decision I made.  From personal experience in the field, most of the time it is a heart wrenching choice and each family has to do what is best for everyone.
#10 | 793 days ago

I don't think my mom would LET me take her in, but much like Pete's mom, I'm guessing she would love for me to live nearby so if something ever happened, I could be there quickly. The only problem is, she's set on living the rest of her life in Montana and I hate it there - I wouldn't move there, but I would definitely move her to wherever I am. If she ever got to the point that she needed full-time care, I would definitely take her in. She had me at 18yo though and she's more active than I am right now, so I can't guarantee that I wouldn't need just as much care as she would if or when it gets to that point indecision Maybe we could move into a home together and terrorize old people. Or we could make my daughter take care of us both!
#11 | 791 days ago

Touchy subject here--- mom passed away sudden;ly and quickly and it was torture watching dad lose his buddy after 50+ years- if I could take it back wouldve moved my dad in with me a millisecond. We are talking about (most of us) the very same people who sheltered us, financed us, molded us, protected us,,,,,,,,2x a child - once an adult---from my experience
other  
#12 | 791 days ago

I told my mom she better stay healthy and take care of herself because she is NOT living with me.


She better hope that boy takes her....
#13 | 791 days ago

My mom bore the brunt of taking care of her mother, although my grandmother could afford to pay for 24/7 in-home nursing care and my mom had power of attorney.  So mom hired a nurse to be there.  My mom was a stay-at-home mom long after the kids were out of the house, so she stayed with my grandmother for several hours each day while my sister and I were at school. 

I would like to be able to do the same thing for my mom.  However, we'd probably kill each other and we know that. She's suggested going into an assisted-living facility should her health ever deteriorate to that point (so that she can still be social and that type of thing).  Beyond that, it's my oldest sister's decision to make and I don't envy her.
#14 | 791 days ago

BamaMan wrote:
There is no way in hell I would let one of the people who gave birth to me come back and live with me. I would put them in a home. They didnt have time for me growing up, I aint got time for them now. I had to teach myself how to cook, clean, math, smoke, drink, and the birds and the bee's. (that was pretty cool though learning on my own!) So, when they come visit once every 2 years that is more then plenty for me!! Now, say if DallasFann55 needed a place to stay because she was ill, come on I got 2 extra bedrooms. I dont do diapers though!! J/K lmao

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