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Music StoryTellers - Jerome McElroy!



Jerome "Chef" McElroy  was a cafeteria worker (as his nickname implies) at the local elementary school in the town of South Park, Colorado. He is also a multi-talented soul singer. Chef was heavily influenced by Isaac Hayes and other soul artists of the 70s.

Chef, after abandoning his musical aspirations, moved to South Park with plans to open his own restaurant. Before this, he had befriended several famous recording artists in the music industry, including Elton John and Meat Loaf, helping them to launch their successful careers. Despite failing at yet another dream, Chef made his way onto the South Park City Council, representing Public Safety. In addition to dispensing advice to the children and a few of the adult townsfolk, Chef spoke out against what he felt were outrageous ideas. For example, he opposed the rampant prescription of Ritalin, and he objected to the town's acceptance of Mr. Garrison committing purposefully flamboyant sadomasochistic acts in front of schoolchildren. Chef once briefly converted to Islam and adopted the name "Abdul Mohammed Jabar Rauf Kareem Ali" when he demanded that South Park change its official flag because it depicted the town's racist past. On several other occasions, Chef helped save South Park (and in a few other instances, the entire world) from potential disasters. Chef was also known for frequently engaging in casual sex, of which he often expressed his habit through song. He drove a 1980s woodie station wagon with a vanity plate that read "LUV CHEF". He was often seen accompanied by numerous young women when at home or on vacation, and was even revealed to have had a one-night stand with Kathie Lee Gifford. He once resorted to male prostitution in an effort to raise money to pay legal fees, and had sex with nearly every woman in South Park before having to stop due to exhaustion. Chef briefly became an office worker and took up monogamy after meeting a woman named Veronica. The two were engaged to be married until it was revealed that Veronica was actually a succubus. Chef was known to have run a quiz show called Chef's Luv Shack.

Chef was the original composer of his songs including the smash hits "Stinky Britches" and "Chocolate Salty Balls". When Chef was left with legal debt after losing a court case to have himself credited as the song's original writer, several bands and artists held a concert dubbed "Chef Aid" to raise the funds. Chef Aid: The South Park Album was released following that.

In 2006, Chef left South Park to join the "Super Adventure Club", which eventually brainwashed Chef until he had the mindset of a child molester. The organization combines outdoor activities with child molestation, an act they perceive as justified because of their bizarre religious beliefs. As the boys attempted to rescue Chef from the club's headquarters, the club reminded him of why he left South Park, and Chef decided to remain with them. However, while Chef was walking back to headquarters, a rope bridge he was standing on was struck by lightning. He fell down and suffered a violent death, culminating with his mutilation at the hands of a grizzly bear and a mountain lion. Finally, he discharges fecal matter. The relaxation of the bowel muscles confirms that a person is really dead according to Cartman. South Park held a memorial service for him (Canadian comedians Terrance and Phillip even attended, despite having never met the man themselves), in which Kyle gave a eulogy stating, "We shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us, we should be mad at that fruity little club for scrambling his brains". Chef's body was secretly collected by the Super Adventure Club, who managed to revive him as a cyborg — "Darth Chef" was born, but hasn't been seen since.

The End.

| Closed on 12/07/12 at 11:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room, Music | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
11 Fans 
45%a. 10 Chocolate Salty Balls was my jam!
9%b. 7-9 Hello there, children!
9%c. 5-6 Stinky Britches!
18%d. 1-4 What is wrong with you?
9%e. Darth Chef
9%f. OMG

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#2 | 168 days ago


I'm sooper cereal guys
7-9 Hello there, children!  
  
16 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 168 days ago

*snort*
1-4 What is wrong with you?  
#2 | 168 days ago


I'm sooper cereal guys
7-9 Hello there, children!  
#3 | 168 days ago

JenX63 wrote:
*snort*
:D
#4 | 168 days ago

JenX63 wrote:
*snort*
10 Chocolate Salty Balls was my jam!  
#5 | 168 days ago

I can't wait till tomorrows singer poll!
10 Chocolate Salty Balls was my jam!  
#6 | 168 days ago

you soooo stooopid!   hahaha!

Payback is a comin!  wink
10 Chocolate Salty Balls was my jam!  
#7 | 168 days ago

(Edited by Nick__)
woody050681 wrote:
I can't wait till tomorrows singer poll!
10 Chocolate Salty Balls was my jam!  
#8 | 168 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
Nick__ wrote:
you soooo stooopid!   hahaha!

Payback is a comin!  wink


also that reminded me of "You tell 'em I'm comin'..."

#9 | 168 days ago

JenX63 wrote:
*snort*
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!   cheeky
10 Chocolate Salty Balls was my jam!  
#10 | 168 days ago

Nick__ wrote:
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!   cheeky
1-4 What is wrong with you?  
#11 | 168 days ago

JenX63 wrote:
10 Chocolate Salty Balls was my jam!  
#12 | 168 days ago

lol
#13 | 167 days ago

Great stuff, Ashlie, you do these as a series.


crying
OMG  
#14 | 167 days ago

Beaneaters wrote:
Great stuff, Ashlie, you do these as a series.


crying
lol. Thanks! I thought of this series idea all by myself.





(:D)
#15 | 167 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
lol. Thanks! I thought of this series idea all by myself.





(:D)




hahahaha  cheeky    
10 Chocolate Salty Balls was my jam!  
#16 | 167 days ago

Nick__ wrote:




hahahaha  cheeky    

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