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4
Q'er Bedtime story

It's been a whole year since the last one! Wow.  Let's do it again with a different Q'er. JenX

You all know how it goes but just in case, each q'er adds the next line to the story. Make it good.

| Closed on 04/30/13 at 09:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room | Numeric Input Opinion Poll
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Question
186.31. Q'er Bedtime story

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#39 | 449 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
This is a story all about how JenX learned to properly saute people. She begins with a filet knife, divides up the toes, and discards them! She pauses and decides to go make the salad first! But then realizes salads are for girls...and gets back to carving the rib meat off the cadaver.   Just as she's removing the last hunk of flesh She begins to wonder if this is what Dr. Andrews felt like while performing surgery on RG III. She goes about putting the cut up body parts in a boiling pan. As she's hurrying to get the dinner party ready for her neighbors she realizes, "Holy sac!  I havent showered this week!" She quickly races into the bathroom, only to run directly into Marcus waiting for her with some important news. 
"Sorry honey, " he said, "I used all the hot water." 
To which Jen replied..."Jesus Christ, Marcus!  Go make yourself useful for once and the water is shut off until tomorrow". "So you need to run to the store and get me some froot loops and smokes. I'm not eating Kenne for dinner!" said Marcus.
Jen replies "Well, then you can STAAAAARVE!" She turns and walks right into Gearhead who asks her if she read his post regarding the NL East predictions. She tells him to go make himself useful and go next door to boil some hot water.  She has to shave her legs for the Zombie Ball. While shaving her legs, she drops the razor and it cuts off her pinkie toe, so she calls the toe truck which is apparently an ice cream truck for zombies, with all body parts available and asked for a refund on the toe. Just then, the ice cream truck driver looks up from examining the toe.  His eyes meet Jen's and just before his tongue falls out, he exclaims, "Who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead?"
She smiles and says, "Hi, I'm Jen. I'd like a number 6 with a  milkshake, please." The driver toots his horn, and follows her to the yard. Just then, a dog barks.  Not a "real" dog, like a Rottweiler, but a little chihuahua  that, on second look, Jen decides would make a great addition to dinner, perhaps a side of fava beans and a nice Chianti to go with it. However, as the dinner appears to be a mostly dark meat dinner, perhaps a Cabernet Sauvignon would be more in line. Jen visited her wine cellar, only to find Marcus making out with Ashlie, but something was amiss with Marcus....he looked like Michael Jackson from the Thriller video and had a hatchett in his hand. He raised it to clear the cobwebs from the ceiling.  Ashlie wasn't taking any chances, so she took off running while screaming 
"I Say, "Whoa kimosabe!", big balling is my hobby
I'm boppin while I'm walking, rag falling out my pocket
If big money ain't the topic, homie I ain't even talking"

as she  mows over a zombiefied T.I. in the front yard.

....POOF...

Just then Jen wakes up from that most f**ked up dream and vows never to mix sizzurp and ambien again on the same night. 
With a raging case of cottonmouth she walks into her kitchen and while picking out a monstrous sleepy time wedgie with one hand she opens the fridge with the other and an arm without a body hands her a beer and a sammich. 

The End.
  
43 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 452 days ago

This is a story all about how...
#2 | 452 days ago

JenX learned how to properly...
#3 | 452 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
This is a story all about how...
I met your mother
54  
#4 | 452 days ago

367  
#5 | 452 days ago

This.
#6 | 452 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
Jason_ wrote:
JenX learned how to properly...
saute people. She begins with a filet knife...
#7 | 452 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
saute people. She begins with a filet knife...
divides up the toes...
#8 | 452 days ago

marcus_nyce wrote: Did you just call me a homophobic Seal? 




(hilarious, i'm genuinely lmao)
367  
#9 | 452 days ago

(i almost just threw up, Odd!)


and discards them! She pauses and decides to go make the salad first! But then,...
#10 | 452 days ago

JenX63 wrote:
Did you just call me a homophobic Seal? 




(hilarious, i'm genuinely lmao)
(No, I'm the seal chiming in on the poll. Your way is 10X more hysterical though!)
#11 | 452 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
(i almost just threw up, Odd!)


and discards them! She pauses and decides to go make the salad first! But then,...
....realizes salads are for girls...and gets back to carving the rib meat off the cadaver.   Just as she's removing the last hunk of flesh...
#12 | 452 days ago

marcus_nyce wrote:
(No, I'm the seal chiming in on the poll. Your way is 10X more hysterical though!)
(Stop insulting my polls and participate!)
#13 | 452 days ago

She begins wondering if this is what Dr. Andrews felt like while performing surgery on RG 3
56  
#14 | 452 days ago

huskerdoug2009 wrote:
She begins wondering if this is what Dr. Andrews felt like while performing surgery on RG 3
she goes about putting the cut up body parts in a boiling pan, as she's in a hurry to get the dinner party ready for her neighbors...
#15 | 452 days ago

Kenne wrote:
she goes about putting the cut up body parts in a boiling pan, as she's in a hurry to get the dinner party ready for her neighbors...
she realizes..holy sac!  I havent showered this week!  She quickly races...
#16 | 452 days ago

Jason_ wrote:
she realizes..holy sac!  I havent showered this week!  She quickly races...
in the bathroom, only to run directly into Marcus waiting for her with some important news
56  
#17 | 452 days ago

huskerdoug2009 wrote:
in the bathroom, only to run directly into Marcus waiting for her with some important news
..."Sorry honey, " he said, "I used all the hot water."

To which Jen replied..."Jesus Christ, Marcus!  Go make yourself useful for once and..."
#18 | 452 days ago

the water is shut off until tommorow
#19 | 452 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
alainpeartree wrote:
the water is shut off until tommorow
so you need to run to the store and get me some froot loops and smokes. I'm not eating Kenne for dinner!, said Marcus.

Jen replies "Well, then you can STAAAAARVE!" She turns and ...
#20 | 452 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
so you need to run to the store and get me some froot loops and smokes. I'm not eating Kenne for dinner!, said Marcus.

Jen replies "Well, then you can STAAAAARVE!" She turns and ...
And walks right into Gearhead, who asks her if she read his post regarding the NL East predictions?
56  
#21 | 452 days ago

(Edited by AlwaysSunshine)
huskerdoug2009 wrote:
And walks right into Gearhead, who asks her if she read his post regarding the NL East predictions?
She tells him to go make himself useful and go next door to boil some hot water.  She has to shave her legs for the Zombie Ball.
#22 | 452 days ago

AlwaysSunshine wrote:
She tells him to go make himself useful and go next door to boil some hot water.  She has to shave her legs for the Zombie Ball.
While shaving her legs, she drops the razor and it cuts off her pinkie toe, so she calls the toe truck....
69  
#23 | 451 days ago

... which is apparently an ice cream truck for zombies, with all body parts available and asked for a refund on the toe
311  
#24 | 451 days ago

Just then, the ice cream truck driver looks up from examining the toe.  His eyes meet Jen's and just before his tongue falls out, he exclaims, "Who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead?"
#25 | 451 days ago

She smiles and says, "Hi, I'm Jen. I'd like a number 6 with a  milkshake, please." The driver...
#26 | 451 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
She smiles and says, "Hi, I'm Jen. I'd like a number 6 with a  milkshake, please." The driver...
The driver toots his horn, and follows her to the yard.
13  
#27 | 451 days ago

kteacher wrote:
The driver toots his horn, and follows her to the yard.
Just then, a dog barks.  Not a "real" dog, like a Rottweiler, but a little chihuahua..........
69  
#28 | 451 days ago

icfeet wrote:
Just then, a dog barks.  Not a "real" dog, like a Rottweiler, but a little chihuahua..........
that, on second look, Jen decides would make a great addition to dinner, perhaps a.....
#29 | 451 days ago

Debi_L wrote:
that, on second look, Jen decides would make a great addition to dinner, perhaps a.....
side of fava beans and a nice Chianti to go with it.
#30 | 450 days ago

AlwaysSunshine wrote:
side of fava beans and a nice Chianti to go with it.
However, as the dinner appears to be a mostly dark meat dinner, perhaps a Cabernet Sauvignon would be more in line. Jen visited her wine cellar, only to find.....
#31 | 449 days ago

Debi_L wrote:
However, as the dinner appears to be a mostly dark meat dinner, perhaps a Cabernet Sauvignon would be more in line. Jen visited her wine cellar, only to find.....
Marcus making out with...
#32 | 449 days ago

(Edited by icfeet)
kobe_lova wrote:
Marcus making out with...
ASHLIE!!!  Seems she had to pay him back for those Falcons playoff tickets, but something was amiss with Marcus....he looked.....
69  
#33 | 449 days ago
Nick__ (+)

(Edited by Nick__)
icfeet wrote:
ASHLIE!!!  Seems she had to pay him back for those Falcons playoff tickets, but something was amiss with Marcus....he looked.....
like Michael Jackson from the Thriller video and had ........
69  
#34 | 449 days ago

A hatchett in his hands. He raised it to...
#35 | 449 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
A hatchett in his hands. He raised it to...
...clear the cobwebs from the ceiling.  Ashlie wasn't taking any chances, so she took off running while screaming....
69  
#36 | 449 days ago

"I Say, "Whoa kimosabe!", big balling is my hobby
I'm boppin while I'm walking, rag falling out my pocket
If big money ain't the topic, homie I ain't even talking"

as she  mows over a zombiefied T.I. in the front yard.
#37 | 449 days ago

AlwaysSunshine wrote:
"I Say, "Whoa kimosabe!", big balling is my hobby
I'm boppin while I'm walking, rag falling out my pocket
If big money ain't the topic, homie I ain't even talking"

as she  mows over a zombiefied T.I. in the front yard.

....POOF...

Just then Jen wakes up from that most f**ked up dream and vows never to mix sizzurp and ambien again on the same night. 
With a raging case of cottonmouth she walks into her kitchen and while picking out a monstrous sleepy time wedgie with one hand she opens the fridge with the other...
#38 | 449 days ago

an arm without a body hands her a beer and a sammich.
#39 | 449 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
This is a story all about how JenX learned to properly saute people. She begins with a filet knife, divides up the toes, and discards them! She pauses and decides to go make the salad first! But then realizes salads are for girls...and gets back to carving the rib meat off the cadaver.   Just as she's removing the last hunk of flesh She begins to wonder if this is what Dr. Andrews felt like while performing surgery on RG III. She goes about putting the cut up body parts in a boiling pan. As she's hurrying to get the dinner party ready for her neighbors she realizes, "Holy sac!  I havent showered this week!" She quickly races into the bathroom, only to run directly into Marcus waiting for her with some important news. 
"Sorry honey, " he said, "I used all the hot water." 
To which Jen replied..."Jesus Christ, Marcus!  Go make yourself useful for once and the water is shut off until tomorrow". "So you need to run to the store and get me some froot loops and smokes. I'm not eating Kenne for dinner!" said Marcus.
Jen replies "Well, then you can STAAAAARVE!" She turns and walks right into Gearhead who asks her if she read his post regarding the NL East predictions. She tells him to go make himself useful and go next door to boil some hot water.  She has to shave her legs for the Zombie Ball. While shaving her legs, she drops the razor and it cuts off her pinkie toe, so she calls the toe truck which is apparently an ice cream truck for zombies, with all body parts available and asked for a refund on the toe. Just then, the ice cream truck driver looks up from examining the toe.  His eyes meet Jen's and just before his tongue falls out, he exclaims, "Who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead?"
She smiles and says, "Hi, I'm Jen. I'd like a number 6 with a  milkshake, please." The driver toots his horn, and follows her to the yard. Just then, a dog barks.  Not a "real" dog, like a Rottweiler, but a little chihuahua  that, on second look, Jen decides would make a great addition to dinner, perhaps a side of fava beans and a nice Chianti to go with it. However, as the dinner appears to be a mostly dark meat dinner, perhaps a Cabernet Sauvignon would be more in line. Jen visited her wine cellar, only to find Marcus making out with Ashlie, but something was amiss with Marcus....he looked like Michael Jackson from the Thriller video and had a hatchett in his hand. He raised it to clear the cobwebs from the ceiling.  Ashlie wasn't taking any chances, so she took off running while screaming 
"I Say, "Whoa kimosabe!", big balling is my hobby
I'm boppin while I'm walking, rag falling out my pocket
If big money ain't the topic, homie I ain't even talking"

as she  mows over a zombiefied T.I. in the front yard.

....POOF...

Just then Jen wakes up from that most f**ked up dream and vows never to mix sizzurp and ambien again on the same night. 
With a raging case of cottonmouth she walks into her kitchen and while picking out a monstrous sleepy time wedgie with one hand she opens the fridge with the other and an arm without a body hands her a beer and a sammich. 

The End.
#40 | 449 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
This is a story all about how JenX learned to properly saute people. She begins with a filet knife, divides up the toes, and discards them! She pauses and decides to go make the salad first! But then realizes salads are for girls...and gets back to carving the rib meat off the cadaver.   Just as she's removing the last hunk of flesh She begins to wonder if this is what Dr. Andrews felt like while performing surgery on RG III. She goes about putting the cut up body parts in a boiling pan. As she's hurrying to get the dinner party ready for her neighbors she realizes, "Holy sac!  I havent showered this week!" She quickly races into the bathroom, only to run directly into Marcus waiting for her with some important news. 
"Sorry honey, " he said, "I used all the hot water." 
To which Jen replied..."Jesus Christ, Marcus!  Go make yourself useful for once and the water is shut off until tomorrow". "So you need to run to the store and get me some froot loops and smokes. I'm not eating Kenne for dinner!" said Marcus.
Jen replies "Well, then you can STAAAAARVE!" She turns and walks right into Gearhead who asks her if she read his post regarding the NL East predictions. She tells him to go make himself useful and go next door to boil some hot water.  She has to shave her legs for the Zombie Ball. While shaving her legs, she drops the razor and it cuts off her pinkie toe, so she calls the toe truck which is apparently an ice cream truck for zombies, with all body parts available and asked for a refund on the toe. Just then, the ice cream truck driver looks up from examining the toe.  His eyes meet Jen's and just before his tongue falls out, he exclaims, "Who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead?"
She smiles and says, "Hi, I'm Jen. I'd like a number 6 with a  milkshake, please." The driver toots his horn, and follows her to the yard. Just then, a dog barks.  Not a "real" dog, like a Rottweiler, but a little chihuahua  that, on second look, Jen decides would make a great addition to dinner, perhaps a side of fava beans and a nice Chianti to go with it. However, as the dinner appears to be a mostly dark meat dinner, perhaps a Cabernet Sauvignon would be more in line. Jen visited her wine cellar, only to find Marcus making out with Ashlie, but something was amiss with Marcus....he looked like Michael Jackson from the Thriller video and had a hatchett in his hand. He raised it to clear the cobwebs from the ceiling.  Ashlie wasn't taking any chances, so she took off running while screaming 
"I Say, "Whoa kimosabe!", big balling is my hobby
I'm boppin while I'm walking, rag falling out my pocket
If big money ain't the topic, homie I ain't even talking"

as she  mows over a zombiefied T.I. in the front yard.

....POOF...

Just then Jen wakes up from that most f**ked up dream and vows never to mix sizzurp and ambien again on the same night. 
With a raging case of cottonmouth she walks into her kitchen and while picking out a monstrous sleepy time wedgie with one hand she opens the fridge with the other and an arm without a body hands her a beer and a sammich. 

The End.
AWESOME! yes
367  
#41 | 449 days ago

That's a damn good story.
#42 | 449 days ago

We want more, we want more!

I follow you.  
#43 | 448 days ago

Debi_L wrote:
We want more, we want more!

I follow you.  
LOVE that commercial.

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