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You can't handle the truth!
This has likely been done before but I'm doing it again because I don't see one anywhere floating around.

We all have them - favorite one-liners from movies. Personally, I even have some one-liners I quote often from movies I don't even like...just because I like the line doesn't mean I have to like the movie. 

What are your favorite one-liners? (Movie or TV works...)
| Closed on 07/28/13 at 05:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
17 Fans 
41%a. These
29%b. This
12%c. Show me the money! (I'm just here to see what others post)
12%d. What we have here is a failure to communicate (I don't get it)
6%e. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn (not gonna participate)

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#11 | 407 days ago

Mole. Mo-lee. Mo-lee........one of the Austin Power movies

It's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one. ---The Hangover

Did we just become best friends? ---Stepbrothers (actually I quote most Will Ferrell movies)

Asssssssssssssss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  ---The Princess Bride


and some others (lots others)
This  
  
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#1 | 407 days ago

you take shi**y jump by shi**y jump to get to the bridge, when you get  to that bridge no man alive should stop you from crossing it----Moses Guthrie, The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh!
#2 | 407 days ago

pretty much any passage from talladega nights:

"i'ma come at you like a spider monkey"
"if you don't chew big red, f**k you."
"shake'n bake!"
"that.just.happened."
"zehr really zin pancakes."
"el diablo"
"i spread my buttcheeks as mike honcho"
"i think yer house is haunted man"
"if y'ain't first, yer last"
"you need to grab a hold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra!"
"i'll hold yer hair."
"hold my hand baby."
"i'ma go cry and buy some milk."
"it got an oscar for best movie ever made."

i could go on.
#3 | 407 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
"...and today is his birthday." -Friday the 13th

"It's the f***ing Catalina Wine Mixer!" -Stepbrothers

"Bitch is hardcore." -Slither

"When life gives you lemonade*, make lemons. Life will be all like Whaaaaat?!" -Modern Family
These  
#4 | 407 days ago

Quick list:

"He musta thought it was white boy day?" - Drexel Spivey, True Romance

"Me so horny. Me love you long time." - Prostitute, Full Metal Jacket

"You gotta control your smiles and cries, because that's all you have and nobody can take that away from you." - Hoyt, Training Day

"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!" - James T. Kirk

and Ricky Bobby's grace during the dinner scene in Talladega Nights
This  
#5 | 407 days ago

Face it girls, I'm older and have more insurance!
I don't want to end up on the d*** Geraldo show!
This  
#6 | 407 days ago

One whole movie "Anchorman"
These  
#7 | 407 days ago

"thipthipthithipthithipthithip" -Silence of the Lambs

"Gib-beh!"- iCarly

"Give me the cube, boy!" -Transformers (i say this a lot more than i should)

"You is smaaaart" -The Help


"Hell, I got lots of friends...." -Tombstone
These  
#8 | 407 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
"thipthipthithipthithipthithip" -Silence of the Lambs

"Gib-beh!"- iCarly

"Give me the cube, boy!" -Transformers (i say this a lot more than i should)

"You is smaaaart" -The Help


"Hell, I got lots of friends...." -Tombstone
OOH! I'm your Huckleberry (I don't know anyone who doesn't know where that came from, and I say it way too often)
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#9 | 407 days ago

Cumberbatch in Sherlock:  I'm not a psychopath.  I'm a high functioning sociopath.  Do your research.
Yoda:  Lost a planet Master Obi-wan has.  How embarrassing.
           Try not.  Do or do not.  There is no try.
Gimli (Lord of the Rings):  Certainty of death...small chance of success...what are we waiting for?
Han Solo:  Wonderful girl.  Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her.
#10 | 407 days ago

woody050681 wrote:
One whole movie "Anchorman"
yes
This  
#11 | 407 days ago

Mole. Mo-lee. Mo-lee........one of the Austin Power movies

It's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one. ---The Hangover

Did we just become best friends? ---Stepbrothers (actually I quote most Will Ferrell movies)

Asssssssssssssss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  ---The Princess Bride


and some others (lots others)
This  
#12 | 407 days ago

kteacher wrote:
Mole. Mo-lee. Mo-lee........one of the Austin Power movies

It's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one. ---The Hangover

Did we just become best friends? ---Stepbrothers (actually I quote most Will Ferrell movies)

Asssssssssssssss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  ---The Princess Bride


and some others (lots others)
Hah! This is so funny....we're watching Twister right now and Cary Elwes said something, Trever said "shut up Wesley" and I said "AAAAASSSSS YOOOOUUUU WIIIIISSHHHHH"

We're idiots. But I find it hilarious that I JUST used this quote not 30 minutes ago.
These  
#13 | 407 days ago

"I AM A BOY!" -Friday After Next
These  
#14 | 406 days ago

There comes time in your life when you just say " What the f**k- Risky Business
#15 | 406 days ago

(Edited by cubsgirl)
There's no crying in baseball.   A league of their own.

What wouldn't I do for the right man.  Practical magic

Houston, we have a problem.  Apollo 13 

You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat.  Bull Durham.

I've got to get me one of these.  Independence day.

So it shall be written, so it shall be done.   The 10 commandments.   (Yul Brenner was just so serious when he said this. )


Crap, I forgot my favorite one. 

Sometimes Delores, an accident can be an unhappy women's best friend.    smiley


What we have here is a failure to communicate (I don't get it)  
#16 | 406 days ago
Nick__ (+)

(Edited by Nick__)
Anything from CADDYSHACK, SLAPSHOT or BLAZING SADDLES

Are you kidding, baby? I put the ‘grrrr’ in swinger, baby! Yeah” - Austin Powers
I’m "Blackinese" - Rush Hour

"
Puff puff, give. Puff puff, give. You f**kin' up the rotation - Friday

"What's up, big Perm?.....I mean Big Worm" - Friday

"Playing with my money is like plain with my emotions, Smokey"  - Friday

"No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn." - Friday

"You're Killin Me, Smalls" - Sandlot

"Oh it's me, Dr. Rosenpenis. I'm just here to check out Alan Stanwyk's file" - Fletch

"Dave's not hear, man" - Cheech & Chong

"I was born a poor black boy" - The Jerk

"Well I'm gonna go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this.[picks up an ashtray] And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair. And I don't need one other thing, except my dog. I don't need my dog."  -  The Jerk
These  
#17 | 406 days ago

One of my favorites: Great Googilymoogily
This  
#18 | 406 days ago

There can only be one- Highlander Movies
#19 | 406 days ago

"THIS IS SPARTA" - 300
"You Talkin' To Me?"- Taxi Driver
"I'll Be Back"- Terminator
"Go Ahead, Make My Day"- Sudden Impact
"You Killed My Father, Prepare To Die"- The Princess Bride
"I See Dead People"- The Sixth Sense
"Heeere's Johnny!"- The Shining
"Why So Serious?"- The Dark Knight
and my favorites....
"There's No Crying In Baseball"- A League Of Their Own
"The Rose Goes In The Front, Big Guy!"- Bull Durham
These  
#20 | 406 days ago

(Edited by Jess)
Sanka...ya dead mon - Cool Runnings
AGAIN! - Miracle
You gon eat yo cornbread? - Life (and a ton of others from that movie)
I'm gonna finish him like a cheesecake! - Pitch Perfect (a ton from that movie too; mostly Fat Amy)
I felt like destroying something beautiful - Fight Club
Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color? - Elf (another movie I quote tons)
You white, then you Ben Affleck - Role Models 
F*** you, Miss Daisy - Role Models (another highly quotable movie - most I can't put on here)
...I will find you, and I will kill you - Taken
And pretty much the entire movie of My Cousin Vinny
These  
#21 | 406 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
"I'm doing stuff, Lori." -TWD (I actually say this at least once a week)

"Nobody has gotten a h***job in cargo shorts since Nam." -Superbad

"I don't think it means what you think it means." -The Princess Bride

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." -HP and the Prisoner* of Azkaban

"Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the israelis and the Palestianians." -High Fidelity

Oh.."A Lannister always his debts." -GOT (all. the. time.)

"Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.".-Tyrion Lannister. (I looked this up to quote it to my sibs. I think it's great advice.)

These  
#22 | 406 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
"I'm doing stuff, Lori." -TWD (I actually say this at least once a week)

"Nobody has gotten a h***job in cargo shorts since Nam." -Superbad

"I don't think it means what you think it means." -The Princess Bride

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." -HP and the Prisoner* of Azkaban

"Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the israelis and the Palestianians." -High Fidelity

Oh.."A Lannister always his debts." -GOT (all. the. time.)

"Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.".-Tyrion Lannister. (I looked this up to quote it to my sibs. I think it's great advice.)

Trever got me a Marauder's Map mug at a gift shop in Hogsmeade that has that quote on it:



I love it the best. It's my favorite way to drink my morning coffee.
These  
#23 | 406 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
Jess wrote:
Trever got me a Marauder's Map mug at a gift shop in Hogsmeade that has that quote on it:



I love it the best. It's my favorite way to drink my morning coffee.
Um.... so jealous right now! It needs to meet my Psych mug, dammit.
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#24 | 406 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
Um.... so jealous right now! It needs to meet my Psych mug, dammit.
It does! Aww I want a Psych mug.

PSYCH! There's a wealth of one-liners all its own.
These  
#25 | 406 days ago

"Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb." - Spaceballs
This  
#26 | 406 days ago

Jess wrote:
It does! Aww I want a Psych mug.

PSYCH! There's a wealth of one-liners all its own.
Yeah, I almost did it but I would get carried away. lol
These  
#27 | 406 days ago

as far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster..... Ray Liotta..... Goodfellas
These  
#28 | 406 days ago

(Edited by AlwaysSunshine)
I almost forgot:

It's gon' rain on your head.  The Color Purple

(knock knock knock) Penny (knock knock knock) Penny (knock knock knock) Penny

And anything Maggie Smith says in Downton Abbey.
#29 | 406 days ago

You guys with the Will Ferrell posts make me want to hurl, barf and upchuck.

"Hello"  - Riff Raff - The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"There's no crying in Baseball!`    (substitute almost anything for `baseball`)

I`ll be back. I`m tired and my brain isn`t working right.
Show me the money! (I'm just here to see what others post)  
#30 | 405 days ago

Debi_L wrote:
You guys with the Will Ferrell posts make me want to hurl, barf and upchuck.

"Hello"  - Riff Raff - The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"There's no crying in Baseball!`    (substitute almost anything for `baseball`)

I`ll be back. I`m tired and my brain isn`t working right.
You watch your mouth! Buddy the Elf is a SAINT! 
These  
#31 | 405 days ago

Debi_L wrote:
You guys with the Will Ferrell posts make me want to hurl, barf and upchuck.

"Hello"  - Riff Raff - The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"There's no crying in Baseball!`    (substitute almost anything for `baseball`)

I`ll be back. I`m tired and my brain isn`t working right.
HEY!

(and I couldn't stand Will Ferrell in general until the second time I watched Ricky Bobby, and Stepbrothers. Now, just seeing his face makes me laugh.)

I want to quote Always Sunny and The League, but between Charlie, Ruxin, and Taco...I don't even know where to start.

Easy favorite : "G***ammit!" -Cartman
These  
#32 | 405 days ago

the yellow ones don't stop!
#33 | 405 days ago

"I would have gone in and bought a box of magnum condoms, thus demonstrating I have a monster dong" - Frank: IASIP
#34 | 405 days ago

Today is a great day to die - Chief Sitting Bull - They Died with their boots on!
#35 | 405 days ago

"Oooh and it's tighter than d*ck skin man" - Roxie, IASIP
#36 | 405 days ago

The_Real_Stoney wrote:
"Oooh and it's tighter than d*ck skin man" - Roxie, IASIP
R.I.P., Roxie.
These  
#37 | 405 days ago
Nick__ (+)

F**K THE HEAD  - Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you?  - Goodfellas

The Price is wrong, bitch!  -  Happy Gilmore


 No problem, Lloyd. We can be classy and sophistic... Oh check out the funbags on that hosehound. - DUMB & DUMBER
These  
#38 | 404 days ago

(Edited by kramer)
"Are ya crazy, or just plain stupid?" - Forrest Gump

"Ohhhh fuuuuuu-udge...only I didn't say fudge..." - A Christmas Story

"A lot of ingredients in a bloody Mary, Sam."
"Yeah that's why we usually mix up 5 gallons and put it in the refrigerator.  Carla, how come you let her do this?"
"I wanted to see her try to make Vodka." - Cheers

"You went all the way to Baltimore to have BIG FUN! - The Cosby Show

"And he saw that it was GOOOOD!" - Bruce Almighty

"I am serious, and don't call me Shirley." - Airplane

I'm sure I'll think of more.
These  
#39 | 404 days ago

(Edited by kramer)
"This can of MM-HMM, in heavy syrup, jumped out and made a big dent in the hood."

RIP Jean Stapletonsad
These  

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