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Santa, baby... (Edited 12/13/13 02:54PM by Jess)
Don't call Santa, "baby". That's inappropriate.

Do write him a letter, though. Make sure to include your Christmas list and use the proper format. You shall be graded.
Featured by: Jess at 12/13/13 3:05PM
| Closed on 12/26/13 at 01:00AM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
8 Fans 
38%a. Dear Santa,
13%b. Santa Claus is coming to town?
0%c. All I want for Christmas is yoou.
25%d. :shimmy:
0%e. Sincerely, Beans.
25%f. I need a cocktail first.

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#20 | 247 days ago

(Edited by The_Real_Stoney)
Dear Santa,
I humbly submit to you my list of wants and desires for this Christmas. This list was deemed not worthy by a certain woman who I hope will be receiving coal in her stocking
1. Scooby Doo Pez dispenser
2. RC Helicopter
3. A Fondu kit to make homemade fudge covered double stuff Oreos
4. Those new jockey sport underoos
5. An abnormally large amount of Chili Cheese Fritos
6. The lifts Tom Cruise wore while filming Top Gun
7. A Super Soaker
8. A new **** ****
9. Instructions for eating a pomegranate
10. A Blockbuster gift card
11. 5 free hugs

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Stoney
  
36 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 250 days ago

Dear Santa
All I really want is this
Sincerely Jen
ps: real milk & cookies served here
 
Dear Santa,  
#2 | 250 days ago

Dear Santa,

We've met, so you know that I do what I want by now. I would still like to receive all of the items on the list below. We're cool like that, I just know it. So, I would like: 1. MMLP2
2. Xbox One
3. One of my credit cards to magically become paid off
4. Bottle of Grey Goose
5. Quiet
6. The long sleeve Falcons shirt that I forgot to buy when it was on sale.
7. A big bottle of Smirnoff
8. Some soft shell tacos

I'll leave you a shot on the table.
Fly safely,

ash
#3 | 250 days ago

(Edited by ms_hippie_queen)
dear santa,
i was extremely good for most of the second half of this year. for that, i want a boob job and for the construction on i-45 to be just magicked into completion.

and a new coffee pot that isn't gonna peter out on me within the first year.

amen.

 
:shimmy:  
#4 | 250 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
JenX63 wrote:
Dear Santa
All I really want is this
Sincerely Jen
ps: real milk & cookies served here
 


91. 

Good use of visual, but horrid use of punctuation.
#5 | 250 days ago

(Edited by Jess)
Dear Santa,
I've been relatively good this year. I mean, I've been worse in years past and you still brought me presents, so I figure we're cool this year. I can't really think of anything new that I want, but I got a bow for my birthday this year that's just a little too much draw weight for me. If you could find it in your heart to bring me a similar bow (a Samick Red Stag, one piece) with a lower draw weight - preferably a 35 - I would be most grateful. I will make sure that my old bow is sitting near the tree so you can take it and give it to someone who might be able to use a 45dw. It really is a beautiful bow, and I think you could find someone who will love it. If that's not possible, you know I'm easy to please. If it involves Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, or Seahawks, I'm all about it.

Thank you for your time, and I hope you enjoy the cookies, bread, and Chex Mix. Take what you don't eat back to the elves and Mrs. Claus. The kiddo and I also set out some carrots for the reindeer.

Happy Holidays!
Jess
Dear Santa,  
#6 | 250 days ago

ms_hippie_queen wrote:
dear santa,
i was extremely good for most of the second half of this year. for that, i want a boob job and for the construction on i-45 to be just magicked into completion.

and a new coffee pot that isn't gonna peter out on me within the first year.

amen.

 
(hmmm)

 You've heard of capitalization, correct? I added 3 pts for making up a word. Your closing is just... incomplete. Good effort, though.
#7 | 250 days ago

Don't call Santa "baby," but definitely don't call Santa anything but white, or Fox News will get very mad.

/Yes, of course I went there
#8 | 250 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
(hmmm)

 You've heard of capitalization, correct? I added 3 pts for making up a word. Your closing is just... incomplete. Good effort, though.
oh snap! you're actually grading us! i would have closed better if i'd taken you seriously. as for capitalization, i have to capitalize s**t all day long at work. the last thing i want to do is waste my energy on shift in my free time.
:shimmy:  
#9 | 250 days ago

Eric_ wrote:
Don't call Santa "baby," but definitely don't call Santa anything but white, or Fox News will get very mad.

/Yes, of course I went there
First white Greek EVAR
Dear Santa,  
#10 | 250 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:


91. 

Good use of visual, but horrid use of punctuation.
I'll take it! (it's as close to pefect as I am ever gone get) 
Dear Santa,  
#11 | 250 days ago

Santa Claus is coming to town?  
#12 | 249 days ago

Dear Santa,

Please pay off my bills!

Thank you

Me!!
:shimmy:  
#13 | 248 days ago

Dear Santa,

I've been a pretty good girl this year, and I've tried to remember to help my fellow human beings wherever possible.  There are only a couple of things that I'd really like to ask for:

1.  Better Christmas spirit.  I really hate being so down at this time of year!!
2.  Assurance that I've made the right decision regarding the opportunity that was presented to me a month ago.  It just didn't seem to be as good an opportunity as it was made to appear, and too much of a risk.
3.  A margarita maker.  If 1 and 2 don't make it, I really need some way to forget about them. 

Thank you Santa, I promise to pay it forward.

Debi
Dear Santa,  
#14 | 247 days ago

Eric_ wrote:
Don't call Santa "baby," but definitely don't call Santa anything but white, or Fox News will get very mad.

/Yes, of course I went there


also, write a letter, a short one....to santa...thanks for participating and cooperating.
#15 | 247 days ago

Jess wrote:
Dear Santa,
I've been relatively good this year. I mean, I've been worse in years past and you still brought me presents, so I figure we're cool this year. I can't really think of anything new that I want, but I got a bow for my birthday this year that's just a little too much draw weight for me. If you could find it in your heart to bring me a similar bow (a Samick Red Stag, one piece) with a lower draw weight - preferably a 35 - I would be most grateful. I will make sure that my old bow is sitting near the tree so you can take it and give it to someone who might be able to use a 45dw. It really is a beautiful bow, and I think you could find someone who will love it. If that's not possible, you know I'm easy to please. If it involves Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, or Seahawks, I'm all about it.

Thank you for your time, and I hope you enjoy the cookies, bread, and Chex Mix. Take what you don't eat back to the elves and Mrs. Claus. The kiddo and I also set out some carrots for the reindeer.

Happy Holidays!
Jess
 99.5. You had "Nobel" when I first read it. Well done, Jessica.
#16 | 247 days ago

Cali_Kat wrote:
Dear Santa,

Please pay off my bills!

Thank you

Me!!
 97. "Me"? Decillion (I just learned this word and don't even know if it's real) people in the world (I also have no clue how many people are in the world), you should be more specific. Good job, and good luck with that!
#17 | 247 days ago

(Edited by kobe_lova)
Debi_L wrote:
Dear Santa,

I've been a pretty good girl this year, and I've tried to remember to help my fellow human beings wherever possible.  There are only a couple of things that I'd really like to ask for:

1.  Better Christmas spirit.  I really hate being so down at this time of year!!
2.  Assurance that I've made the right decision regarding the opportunity that was presented to me a month ago.  It just didn't seem to be as good an opportunity as it was made to appear, and too much of a risk.
3.  A margarita maker.  If 1 and 2 don't make it, I really need some way to forget about them. 

Thank you Santa, I promise to pay it forward.

Debi
  99.87. Well written, Debi. I feel like your #1 may hurt Santa's feeling on "his" special day, so I docked you a little. I do hope you find that Christmas spirit, though. It's so great! :)
#18 | 247 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
 99.5. You had "Nobel" when I first read it. Well done, Jessica.
I did, it was a typo...it was early for me.
Dear Santa,  
#19 | 247 days ago

Jess wrote:
I did, it was a typo...it was early for me.
Yeah, I just refuse to give 100. I'm THAT teacher/TA. lol
#20 | 247 days ago

(Edited by The_Real_Stoney)
Dear Santa,
I humbly submit to you my list of wants and desires for this Christmas. This list was deemed not worthy by a certain woman who I hope will be receiving coal in her stocking
1. Scooby Doo Pez dispenser
2. RC Helicopter
3. A Fondu kit to make homemade fudge covered double stuff Oreos
4. Those new jockey sport underoos
5. An abnormally large amount of Chili Cheese Fritos
6. The lifts Tom Cruise wore while filming Top Gun
7. A Super Soaker
8. A new **** ****
9. Instructions for eating a pomegranate
10. A Blockbuster gift card
11. 5 free hugs

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Stoney
#21 | 247 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
Yeah, I just refuse to give 100. I'm THAT teacher/TA. lol
Oh I graciously accept the grade. It probably should have been lower, because I also said "if you can find it in yourself" instead of "in your heart" the first time around, and that just got weird.
Dear Santa,  
#22 | 247 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:


also, write a letter, a short one....to santa...thanks for participating and cooperating.
No, I do not.
#23 | 247 days ago

(I'm pretty sure she was just playin', Eric. She knows you don't...but you should write a letter to Santa.)

Also - I was just told Greek is white. Everything I learned in college about the ancient Greeks is a LIE!! I thought they were Asian?
Dear Santa,  
#24 | 247 days ago

Jess wrote:
(I'm pretty sure she was just playin', Eric. She knows you don't...but you should write a letter to Santa.)

Also - I was just told Greek is white. Everything I learned in college about the ancient Greeks is a LIE!! I thought they were Asian?
Don't care and no I don't.
#25 | 247 days ago

(Edited by Jess)
Eric_ wrote:
Don't care and no I don't.
Alright then, then why post to begin with if you didn't want to participate?

(and I said "should"...not that you needed to. Was making a suggestion, not telling you what to do.)
Dear Santa,  
#26 | 247 days ago

Jess wrote:
Alright then, then why post to begin with if you didn't want to participate?

(and I said "should"...not that you needed to. Was making a suggestion, not telling you what to do.)
So I could make a topical joke attacking a network I despise, because I'm political 24/7/365. I thought you knew me.
#27 | 247 days ago

This is why I stopped doing Christmas polls in the spirit of just having fun. *sigh*
Dear Santa,  
#28 | 247 days ago

Jess wrote:
This is why I stopped doing Christmas polls in the spirit of just having fun. *sigh*
Damn it, now I feel bad. We should just not talk in December at all. Our friendship needs to be the opposite of a May-December romance.
#29 | 247 days ago

Eric_ wrote:
So I could make a topical joke attacking a network I despise, because I'm political 24/7/365. I thought you knew me.
STFU.


p.s. you were attacking a network? that joke went right over my head. you should know your audience. I LOVE Christmas and if you're gonna be like another certain doucherq'er then you can avoid my christmas polls. 

p.p.s. it's one thing to be a **** to everyone else, but i demand better, cause i'm me, that's why.


Have a merry evening.
#30 | 247 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
 97. "Me"? Decillion (I just learned this word and don't even know if it's real) people in the world (I also have no clue how many people are in the world), you should be more specific. Good job, and good luck with that!
Give me money to pay all my bills so that I can live debt free. I'm not even sure how much money that would be. Maybe he should just let me be the next lotto winner...yeah that's it!
:shimmy:  
#31 | 246 days ago

Cali_Kat wrote:
Give me money to pay all my bills so that I can live debt free. I'm not even sure how much money that would be. Maybe he should just let me be the next lotto winner...yeah that's it!
I hear it's like 6 bazillion bucks. I think we BOTH can live debt-free? *wink wink smiley gif*
#32 | 246 days ago

The_Real_Stoney wrote:
Dear Santa,
I humbly submit to you my list of wants and desires for this Christmas. This list was deemed not worthy by a certain woman who I hope will be receiving coal in her stocking
1. Scooby Doo Pez dispenser
2. RC Helicopter
3. A Fondu kit to make homemade fudge covered double stuff Oreos
4. Those new jockey sport underoos
5. An abnormally large amount of Chili Cheese Fritos
6. The lifts Tom Cruise wore while filming Top Gun
7. A Super Soaker
8. A new **** ****
9. Instructions for eating a pomegranate
10. A Blockbuster gift card
11. 5 free hugs

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Stoney
 99.92. Incredible. :|, I can tell you put a lot of thought and effort into writing this letter. I took number 8 to be a c*** *i**. Be careful with that. I, too, would like a super soaker.
#33 | 246 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
 99.92. Incredible. :|, I can tell you put a lot of thought and effort into writing this letter. I took number 8 to be a c*** *i**. Be careful with that. I, too, would like a super soaker.
your deduction skills are impeccable
#34 | 246 days ago

The_Real_Stoney wrote:
your deduction skills are impeccable
#35 | 246 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
  99.87. Well written, Debi. I feel like your #1 may hurt Santa's feeling on "his" special day, so I docked you a little. I do hope you find that Christmas spirit, though. It's so great! :)
Thank you very much!! BTW, #1 has already been granted, and I feel much better!!  Tree looks wonderful, with all the decorations on it, and all the presents under it.  I think the granting of number 1 is in direct correlation to #2 and my strong belief that I did, in fact, make the right decision.

Thank you all for your patience with me, and Merry Christmas!!
Dear Santa,  
#36 | 245 days ago

Debi_L wrote:
Thank you very much!! BTW, #1 has already been granted, and I feel much better!!  Tree looks wonderful, with all the decorations on it, and all the presents under it.  I think the granting of number 1 is in direct correlation to #2 and my strong belief that I did, in fact, make the right decision.

Thank you all for your patience with me, and Merry Christmas!!

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