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39
Dear Randompants
So today i was scrolling through old polls just for the heck of it and I was looking and reading comments from months ago and they made me laugh.  Then I realized that all the posters were like ghosts, there were a ton of members who now look like Matt Damon with faded out silhouettes.  Then there are the members we aren't saying much, almost like a football coma.. waiting for the season to start.  Then I came across a poll that I had done that I thought, hey, I'm going to do it again.. with all the new members out there, they might have some serious/non serious issues.

So here you go, ask away.. :)


Featured by: kramer at 6/29/09 9:10PM
| Closed on 09/29/09 at 05:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room, Advice | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
49 Fans 
14%a. Help me N.T.Randompants
12%b. I don't need help, but my "friend" does.
16%c. Seriously, help...
24%d. I don't have anything
33%e. Other

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#4 | 258 days ago

 Dear Mrs. Randompants,

There is a certain "clown" who keeps pestering me with rude comments and images about my favorite baseball team. Where can I find material to do the same to him I mean how should I deal with this situation?

Sincerely,
Fanofateamunjustlyrediculed
Seriously, help...  
26

  
94 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 258 days ago

 Dear Ms Randompants:
I need cheese, but am too lazy to go to the store.  Can you suggest a tasty substitute?
I don't have anything  
16

#2 | 258 days ago

 TerikaHarifa wrote:
Dear Ms Randompants:
I need cheese, but am too lazy to go to the store.  Can you suggest a tasty substitute?
Dear obviouslytooembarrassedtoleaveitsnameitsakidontjudge,
         Off the top of my head the only things comparable to cheese would be
  • Heaven
  • Wine in a blue bottle
  • Cheeze-its
  • chocolate covered gummi bears
  • Hot chocolate from the coffee bank in Broken Arrow OK
  • my grandmas swedish meatballs
  • baklava
If you don't have any of these products I would recommend going to get cheese.. cause there really isn't anything gooder.

What are you making? Grilled Cheese???  nummers.

Hope this helps.
N.T. RP
20

#3 | 258 days ago

 Dear Mrs. Randompants:

I have not gotten my paycheck from UPMC.  Direct deposit hasn't been processed yet, and until it is my check is supposed to be mailed home.  How should I talk to the woman from temporary services without letting my mouth get me in trouble?

Sincerely,
Poorcollegestudentbrokeafterstudyingbroads
Seriously, help...  
11

#4 | 258 days ago

 Dear Mrs. Randompants,

There is a certain "clown" who keeps pestering me with rude comments and images about my favorite baseball team. Where can I find material to do the same to him I mean how should I deal with this situation?

Sincerely,
Fanofateamunjustlyrediculed
Seriously, help...  
26

#5 | 258 days ago

 Dear Ms Randompants,

I have a severe addiction to answering locker room polls?  Is there a support group for me?
Other  
13

#6 | 258 days ago

 kramer wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants:

I have not gotten my paycheck from UPMC.  Direct deposit hasn't been processed yet, and until it is my check is supposed to be mailed home.  How should I talk to the woman from temporary services without letting my mouth get me in trouble?

Sincerely,
Poorcollegestudentbrokeafterstudyingbroads
I TOLD you NOT to study BROADS!!!!!! Damn, it's gonna make you broke!
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
20

#7 | 258 days ago

 Anthonyg7575 wrote:
I TOLD you NOT to study BROADS!!!!!! Damn, it's gonna make you broke!
Haven't you figured out yet that I don't listen very well?
Seriously, help...  
13

#8 | 258 days ago

 Dear Mrs. Randompants,

I'm having issues finding enough "Q" time.  My unhealthy addiction to Facebook as well as a two-month old have pretty much eaten up my "spare" time, but I'm determined to get back to the Q more often than I have the past few months.

Help!

Hopelessly Hopeless
Help me N.T.Randompants  
16

#9 | 258 days ago

 kramer wrote:
Haven't you figured out yet that I don't listen very well?
Apparently not....I recommend that you try this....

Here
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
5

#10 | 258 days ago

 kramer wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants:

I have not gotten my paycheck from UPMC.  Direct deposit hasn't been processed yet, and until it is my check is supposed to be mailed home.  How should I talk to the woman from temporary services without letting my mouth get me in trouble?

Sincerely,
Poorcollegestudentbrokeafterstudyingbroads
Dear brokeanddoneooglingchicks,
    I would call them, and maybe take some Valium and pop in a lil Winston before dialing...I recommend Thanksgiving off the December album. This might help your overwhelming sense of angry tongue from getting you in trouble.

If this doesn't work, pick up the want ads on your way home... you'll need them.

Remember folks, no money isn't funny. 

Hope this helps,
NTRP
12

#11 | 258 days ago
mooser58 (+)

Dear Ms. RandomPants,

I am not sure who's pants I have on.....what should I do????
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
20

#12 | 258 days ago

 (Edited by hskrdave)
 Ms. Randompants,

Why do i have this hate and untrust for women?  Can you recommend anyone that would restore my faith in them?

thanks
Anonymous (not the license plate shown)
Other  
18

#13 | 258 days ago

 mooser58 wrote:
Dear Ms. RandomPants,

I am not sure who's pants I have on.....what should I do????
Check for the wallet..duh.
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
11

#14 | 258 days ago

 hskrdave wrote:
 Ms. Randompants,

Why do i have this hate and untrust for women?  Can you recommend anyone that would restore my faith in them?

thanks
Anonymous (not the license plate shown)
Because your deodorant is attracting these nasty douchbags.....You need to switch to something with a nice fresh scent. The hotter women will come....
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
10

#15 | 258 days ago

 Anthonyg7575 wrote:
Because your deodorant is attracting these nasty douchbags.....You need to switch to something with a nice fresh scent. The hotter women will come....
 or i could start using it i guess.  and btw ms. randompants, you're not as cute as i remember.  not bad, just not as cute.
Other  
8

#16 | 258 days ago

 kteacher wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants,

There is a certain "clown" who keeps pestering me with rude comments and images about my favorite baseball team. Where can I find material to do the same to him I mean how should I deal with this situation?

Sincerely,
Fanofateamunjustlyrediculed
Dear Fan o fate aminj ustly red I culed,
    Seems like you are in a sort of a pickle aye?  Myself I am not a fan of your baseball team either, I think that they arent doing good this year and half the team will probably end up on the Mitchell Report anyway... Just kidding.

Just tell him, "Hey, clown... my team may not be the best, but they are not the Nationals" and then use the noogie clubhouse and pq 4 of his comments.

Hope this helps,
NTRP
17

#17 | 258 days ago

 BigBasin1977 wrote:
Dear Ms Randompants,

I have a severe addiction to answering locker room polls?  Is there a support group for me?
Dear Addictionisastrongwordidsayanunheathlycompulsion,
    Sadly, we are the support group... just keep on clicking next poll, and answering away...  Good luck.

NTRP
14

#18 | 257 days ago

 Dear Ms. Randompants,

At the very thought of Mike Modano, I utter the words "sweet baby Jesus."  Am I obsessed?

Sincerely,

IWannawakeupnexttomodano
Help me N.T.Randompants  
20

#19 | 257 days ago

 Ryan wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants,

I'm having issues finding enough "Q" time.  My unhealthy addiction to Facebook as well as a two-month old have pretty much eaten up my "spare" time, but I'm determined to get back to the Q more often than I have the past few months.

Help!

Hopelessly Hopeless
Dear Hopeful! 
    Always have hope, its the only thing that is free that you don't have to beg for.  "While I want to say dont you have an older kid to take care of that baby?"  I won't cause you should spend as much time as you can with the babies before they get old enough to report back to mom that you have been taking top 5 quizes on Facebook, and ranking your top 10 ice cream toppings on the Q.

(btw, where the hank the the 2 month old come from?  not like.. I know where babies come from.. but did you buy it?  how come I didnt knwo this?  damn I fail, congrats Ryan!  )

NTRP
10

#20 | 257 days ago

 mooser58 wrote:
Dear Ms. RandomPants,

I am not sure who's pants I have on.....what should I do????
Dear pantsstealer.
      Check the pocket for a wallet, then give it to me, I will make sure it get the the right person.

Hope this will help us,
NT notgoingtostealthemoneyipromise RP
12

#21 | 257 days ago

 hskrdave wrote:
 Ms. Randompants,

Why do i have this hate and untrust for women?  Can you recommend anyone that would restore my faith in them?

thanks
Anonymous (not the license plate shown)
Dear Annony Mouse,
   I think that the same thing can be said for both sexes.  There are good one out there and bad ones, and you never know what you are going to get when you start a relationship with one.  The only way to be sure is to test it out.  In the process you might get your heart broken, or break a heart.  But its all part of growing and building your hearts immune system.  As far as recommendations, sadly I don't have anyone for you.  But if you believe, you will find someone to trust with your heart, your children, your wallet and your home.

Hope this helps :D
NTRP
8

#22 | 257 days ago

 sports_schmorts wrote:
Dear Annony Mouse,
   I think that the same thing can be said for both sexes.  There are good one out there and bad ones, and you never know what you are going to get when you start a relationship with one.  The only way to be sure is to test it out.  In the process you might get your heart broken, or break a heart.  But its all part of growing and building your hearts immune system.  As far as recommendations, sadly I don't have anyone for you.  But if you believe, you will find someone to trust with your heart, your children, your wallet and your home.

Hope this helps :D
NTRP

 thanks.  i'll trust any woman with my wallet. that's easy when it's empty.
Other  
11

#23 | 257 days ago

 ChristiSunshine wrote:
Dear Ms. Randompants,

At the very thought of Mike Modano, I utter the words "sweet baby Jesus."  Am I obsessed?

Sincerely,

IWannawakeupnexttomodano
Dear Iwannawakeupnexttomadnotoo,
     You picked a good one, as far as hockey players go.  I do think that you are obsessed, but until you get his name tattooed on you, you are in the safe zone.  Wait, do you have the tattoo??

Keep the skin free of man ink,
NTRP
11

#24 | 257 days ago

 Dear Ms. Randompants,
Now that summer is here and it is our busiest time of year, I'm working 9 hour days too many days a week and just don't get on the Q as often as my addiction tells me I should .  Do you have any great excuses for signing on while at work that I could use on my boss?

Thanks,
Ilovetheqsomuchbutreallyhavetoworktosurvive
Help me N.T.Randompants  
5

#25 | 257 days ago

 JrCanuckFan wrote:
Dear Ms. Randompants,
Now that summer is here and it is our busiest time of year, I'm working 9 hour days too many days a week and just don't get on the Q as often as my addiction tells me I should .  Do you have any great excuses for signing on while at work that I could use on my boss?

Thanks,
Ilovetheqsomuchbutreallyhavetoworktosurvive
Dear Ifeelyasistaiwasthereonce...waitnoidontwork.,

    You need to tell your boss that you need a mental heath hour to spend some QT with you Q.  Either that or you will need a mental heath day, and he doesn't want that!  Also make sure that you are having fun while you are on the Q, and not working too hard.  That is not what you need to be doing, stress 24/7 will make you crazy. 

Hope you are enjoying the weather keep the arctic freezer temps up there,
NTRP
7

#26 | 257 days ago
topnach (+)

Dear Mrs. Randompants:

Recently I was suspended for violating this CoC thing. Can you help me to better understand it?

Sincerely lost for 30 days
Other  
10

#27 | 257 days ago

 topnach wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants:

Recently I was suspended for violating this CoC thing. Can you help me to better understand it?

Sincerely lost for 30 days
Dear lostandfound,
  You need help with the suspension or the CoC? 
Let me know and I will elaborate
NTRP
7

#28 | 257 days ago

 (Edited by adamace)
Dear Mrs. Schmorty-Pants,
                    What is the meaning of life?
6

#29 | 257 days ago

 Dear Mr. randompants,
Please help me on how not to get DIZZY even after having lots of Fizzy(BEER)
4

#30 | 257 days ago

 Dear Ms. Randompants,

Recently I have had brief spells where I pass out, then upon waking up about two days later, I am wearing Superman Underoos and a cape with five hundreds bucks cash in my hand, I guess my question to you is, 'do you know if Superman Underoos come in a size 38?'...

Thanks a bunch,

Cec... er... Beaneat... ummm... Nobodyinpeticular...
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
9

#31 | 257 days ago

 adamace wrote:
Dear Mrs. Schmorty-Pants,
                    What is the meaning of life?
Dear Mr. Brown,
I'm sorry there must have been some interferance, I didn't hear you..

Next please :)

Just kidding, I heard you, thanks for giving me a stu.. err... lemme try to tackle this one.

I don't think that anyone has the real answer to this one, because it all goes back to what you really believe.  Is there a God, is he playing some role playing board game with us, is this a social experiment put on by Ashton Kutcher?  Nobody really knows. 

Hope this helps ;)
NTRP
8

#32 | 257 days ago

 aroraarun77 wrote:
Dear Mr. randompants,
Please help me on how not to get DIZZY even after having lots of Fizzy(BEER)
Dear dizzyfizzydrinker
    Wait whats wrong with being dizzy?  Your first mistake is drinking beer... ewww that tastes like ear wax, and is icky.  I suggest switching to a better tasting dizzy maker.  I prefer wine in blue bottles, sure it burns off fast but who wants to be dizzy super long?  If you can't fine blue bottles, black bottles are good too.

Enjoy the rush
NTRP
8

#33 | 257 days ago
mooser58 (+)

sports_schmorts wrote:
Dear Mr. Brown,
I'm sorry there must have been some interferance, I didn't hear you..

Next please :)

Just kidding, I heard you, thanks for giving me a stu.. err... lemme try to tackle this one.

I don't think that anyone has the real answer to this one, because it all goes back to what you really believe.  Is there a God, is he playing some role playing board game with us, is this a social experiment put on by Ashton Kutcher?  Nobody really knows. 

Hope this helps ;)
NTRP
I think this video will answer any and all questions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQu_RRLbVDA
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
2

#34 | 257 days ago

 Beaneaters wrote:
Dear Ms. Randompants,

Recently I have had brief spells where I pass out, then upon waking up about two days later, I am wearing Superman Underoos and a cape with five hundreds bucks cash in my hand, I guess my question to you is, 'do you know if Superman Underoos come in a size 38?'...

Thanks a bunch,

Cec... er... Beaneat... ummm... Nobodyinpeticular...
Dear "brief" speller,
     I am going to guess you are a baby boomer amirite?  See kids, this just goes to show you that the 70's were NOT good for people ;)
In all honesty, I do not recommend that you go shopping for underoos in any store, you may be labeled as something that you do not want.  So I suggest you getting iron on transfers, some puff paint and a bedazzler and making some grown-up underoos. 

Don't forget to about Ebay, sell those puppies.

NTRP
13

#35 | 257 days ago

 Dear Mrs Randompants,

Should i shave my privates?  Would i get more "attention" down there if i did?  Is the risk vs. reward high enough?  Do girls even liked shaved guys?  Or should i continue to look like i have Chewbacca in a triangle choke?
I don't have anything  
10

#36 | 257 days ago

 jasonsmall1977 wrote:
Dear Mrs Randompants,

Should i shave my privates?  Would i get more "attention" down there if i did?  Is the risk vs. reward high enough?  Do girls even liked shaved guys?  Or should i continue to look like i have Chewbacca in a triangle choke?
Dear Mr Smalls,
   With a name like that you need all the help you can get ;)  Get out the clippers.

Good luck
NTRP
16

#37 | 257 days ago

 sports_schmorts wrote:
Dear "brief" speller,
     I am going to guess you are a baby boomer amirite?  See kids, this just goes to show you that the 70's were NOT good for people ;)
In all honesty, I do not recommend that you go shopping for underoos in any store, you may be labeled as something that you do not want.  So I suggest you getting iron on transfers, some puff paint and a bedazzler and making some grown-up underoos. 

Don't forget to about Ebay, sell those puppies.

NTRP
Dear Ms. NTRP,

Thanks for the advise and in such a timely fashion too... sounds great, lucky for me I already own a Bedazzler... it works great but have you ever tried put one of those little *&%$ers in your earlobe? It hurts for a while, but the chics dig it.

Thanks again and as a 'child of the 70s' I would like to say, "I'm sorry, were you talking to me"?

Peace,

Againnobodyinpeticular
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
10

#38 | 257 days ago

 Dear Mrs. Randompants...

Brown eyes, brown eyes, and more brown eyes...its all I obsess about to the extent that I dismiss blue, green and other colored eyes. Help me...

Wedged under a desk dreaming of brown eyes...

Seriously, help...  
8

#39 | 257 days ago

 half_baked wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants...

Brown eyes, brown eyes, and more brown eyes...its all I obsess about to the extent that I dismiss blue, green and other colored eyes. Help me...

Wedged under a desk dreaming of brown eyes...

Dear Wedged,
   Hazel>Brown. period.  Get over the brown eyes...Hazel is where its at!   Just kidding, kinda.
What you have is a case of eye discrimination, its rarely seen because its kinda redonkulous.  There are a lot of beautiful babies out there with green, blue, hazel eyes... you dont want to be under a desk waiting for that brown eyed girl to come along when the green eyed temptress is standing at your feet.

Good luck in the hunt.

NTRP
10

#40 | 257 days ago

 Beaneaters wrote:
Dear Ms. NTRP,

Thanks for the advise and in such a timely fashion too... sounds great, lucky for me I already own a Bedazzler... it works great but have you ever tried put one of those little *&%$ers in your earlobe? It hurts for a while, but the chics dig it.

Thanks again and as a 'child of the 70s' I would like to say, "I'm sorry, were you talking to me"?

Peace,

Againnobodyinpeticular
Dear 70's dude,
    Dont put the bedazzle to your ear, or any other fleshy body part, that is just wrong.. WRONG I SAY!

Enjoy the undies
NTRP
9

#41 | 257 days ago
mooser58 (+)

Dear El Randomo,

Is this a boil or a zit?  Also, what word makes people cringe more: douche or enema???

Signed, REALLY Bored at Work
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
11

#42 | 257 days ago

 (Edited by IlliniBob72)
Dear Mrs. Randompants,
I have developed an unhealthy loathing for all things Kyle Orton. If I saw him walking down the street, I would root for him to trip and fall on his face (which he probably would, because he sucks something fierce! I swear, he is the suckiest QB that ever sucked! but I digress). So, Mrs. Randompants, what do you suggest I do?

Sincerely,
Mr. KyleOrtonistheworstQBintheNFL
Help me N.T.Randompants  
7

#43 | 257 days ago

 Wow I can't believe this site!!  It even has a live help line.  This is frkn awesome. 

Lets see I have many questions because I have many voices in my head speaking all it once.  How do I teach them to speak one at a time?? 
11

#44 | 257 days ago

 sports_schmorts wrote:
Dear Wedged,
   Hazel>Brown. period.  Get over the brown eyes...Hazel is where its at!   Just kidding, kinda.
What you have is a case of eye discrimination, its rarely seen because its kinda redonkulous.  There are a lot of beautiful babies out there with green, blue, hazel eyes... you dont want to be under a desk waiting for that brown eyed girl to come along when the green eyed temptress is standing at your feet.

Good luck in the hunt.

NTRP
Thank you wise one...

But now I'm in a quandry...I'm having a  going out with a brown eyed girl for lunch. Should I ignore and resist her advances so as to break the cycle of obsession or should I wait until after lunch...

Please respond quickly, lunch is almost on top of me here....
Seriously, help...  
8

#45 | 257 days ago

Dear Mrs. Randompants,
Why do you always like taking pic in pair, cheek to cheek and pouty lips..???

Curiously Yours,
thelostballsfieryballs

Seriously, help...  
6

#46 | 257 days ago

 Dear Mrs. Randompants,
If the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, can I go try it out for myself?
Help me N.T.Randompants  
7

#47 | 257 days ago

 mooser58 wrote:
Dear El Randomo,

Is this a boil or a zit?  Also, what word makes people cringe more: douche or enema???

Signed, REALLY Bored at Work
Dear bored atwork and need to see a Dr,
   Nasty, my guess is that you need some sort of ointment, I recommend getting to a clinic asap.  cause well its just ishy.  But from the looks of it over here... its a cyst, and those are mothers to get rid of, and painful

Hope you get that cleared up... ::shudders::
NTRP
8

#48 | 257 days ago

 dear mrs randompants

I used to have alot of friends i would talk to on yahoo messenger all the time. these friends have all but died apparently. is there any way i can bring them back from the other side? a witch doctor perhaps?

any suggestions

sincerely,
friendless in seattle
6

#49 | 257 days ago

Dear Randompants,
I can't remember if I was here in this Podunk or the sprawling metropolis last time I wrote to you. Oh crud, not much has changed, eh? How do you get a 13 year old to listen? Why does the 3 year old hop around like that all day? Oh, you on facebook?

GwammainNebraska

Seriously, help...  
6

#50 | 257 days ago

 hskrdave wrote:
 Ms. Randompants,

Why do i have this hate and untrust for women?  Can you recommend anyone that would restore my faith in them?

thanks
Anonymous (not the license plate shown)
What? You're such a nice guy...sarcastic, but awesomely nice! Well, if I was younger and single.
Seriously, help...  
4

#51 | 257 days ago

 IlliniBob72 wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants,
I have developed an unhealthy loathing for all things Kyle Orton. If I saw him walking down the street, I would root for him to trip and fall on his face (which he probably would, because he sucks something fierce! I swear, he is the suckiest QB that ever sucked! but I digress). So, Mrs. Randompants, what do you suggest I do?

Sincerely,
Mr. KyleOrtonistheworstQBintheNFL
Dear Hater,
   Kyle Orton is the man, anyone who can rock the man fuzz like that in public and not be ashamed is amazing.  Seriously, if he does trip I hope his beard falls off.  As far as being a horrible QB, well according to my records he can Pass, Game and TD.  I know I can't YD, so I guess he is better than me.  He is probably not the suckiest QB ever, who do we have?  oh vomit, lets not go there.. I suggest you stop watching football.  That is my suggestion. :D

Enjoy the off season while you can,
NTRP
9

#52 | 257 days ago
mooser58 (+)

Dear Pants of Random,

A guy at my office just got his American Express bill and there is a charge on it for a riding crop, a saddle, a pair of thigh high boots and a 50 gallon drum of Wesson Oil.  He did not make the purchases and his wife only giggled and said "See you when you get home" when he called to ask her.  What do you think this means?

Signed, Concerned Yet Curious
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
8

#53 | 257 days ago

 rayray3466 wrote:
Wow I can't believe this site!!  It even has a live help line.  This is frkn awesome. 

Lets see I have many questions because I have many voices in my head speaking all it once.  How do I teach them to speak one at a time?? 
Dear multiple personality head,
 
Ask them nicely to take turns, if they dont listen threaten them with some medication. 

Come back when you get them in order ;)

NTRP
8

#54 | 257 days ago

 half_baked wrote:
Thank you wise one...

But now I'm in a quandry...I'm having a  going out with a brown eyed girl for lunch. Should I ignore and resist her advances so as to break the cycle of obsession or should I wait until after lunch...

Please respond quickly, lunch is almost on top of me here....
Dear Hazel Hater,

     Ask her to wear blue contacts, if the urge is still there, then its the woman you are attracted to and not her eyes.  Don't break a date with her, that is just sad.. just request her to change her eye color. 

This message brought to you by Hazel Eyes are Better than Brown,
NTRP
7

#55 | 257 days ago

 fI3RyBaLlS wrote:

Dear Mrs. Randompants,
Why do you always like taking pic in pair, cheek to cheek and pouty lips..???

Curiously Yours,
thelostballsfieryballs

Dear stalker,
   Why do you know so much about my pics.. weirdo ;)  Seriousnessly, I don't know, why you gotta hate on my pics?!?! :P  The current pic was taken of my and my friend when we were doing grown up things cause we were saddened by the game 6 loss, it was so sad.. :(  I am a pouty person by nature so a lot of my pics are pouty. I can/have take/n pics alone and not cheek to cheek, but it doesn't thrill me half as much as dancing cheek to cheek.

Hope I can impress you with a smiley non cheeky pic next time,
NTRP
12

#56 | 257 days ago

 LJHeath73 wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants,
If the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, can I go try it out for myself?
Dear Greengrass,
   Sadly it only looks greener, if you go to the other side and look back at where you have been your side will look greener as well.  As humans we are drawn to something better, something to change to make life easier to deal with.  If your grass isn't looking as green, I recommend watering it, fertilizing it, and if all else fails, re sod. 

There are always ways to spruce up the yard, plant some flowers! Chin up buttercup :D

NTRP
10

#57 | 257 days ago

 shasta wrote:
dear mrs randompants

I used to have alot of friends i would talk to on yahoo messenger all the time. these friends have all but died apparently. is there any way i can bring them back from the other side? a witch doctor perhaps?

any suggestions

sincerely,
friendless in seattle
Dear I thought you lived in LA, you liar...
    
    They might have died, damn that sucks.. maybe you aren't on Yahoo as much as YOU used to and so therefore you are missing them.  DUH!  Why blame the dead?  Keep looking for them, maybe its time to get new friends, your friends are flakes :P 

Look for me on Yahoo, I'll be there with flip flops on.
NTRP
7

#58 | 257 days ago

 mooser58 wrote:
Dear Pants of Random,

A guy at my office just got his American Express bill and there is a charge on it for a riding crop, a saddle, a pair of thigh high boots and a 50 gallon drum of Wesson Oil.  He did not make the purchases and his wife only giggled and said "See you when you get home" when he called to ask her.  What do you think this means?

Signed, Concerned Yet Curious
Dear suckinupallmytimei'mgoingtostartchargingyou,
   
       Kidding.. kinda :P  well "your guy" sounds like he needs to be fired.  Is this a company card?  and if he doesn't get fired can i get one? :D  It also sounds like she is some sort of betty crocker cowgirl, she may be on to something.

Hope she makes me cookies.
NTRP
7

#59 | 257 days ago

 (Edited by sports_schmorts)
Raven73 wrote:

Dear Randompants,
I can't remember if I was here in this Podunk or the sprawling metropolis last time I wrote to you. Oh crud, not much has changed, eh? How do you get a 13 year old to listen? Why does the 3 year old hop around like that all day? Oh, you on facebook?

GwammainNebraska

(dang I missed this one, sorry darling)

Dear Grams,
  
   You were in Podunk, glad to have you back.  Getting a 13 year old to listen is hard, it takes work, but I think most importantly is listening to a 13 year old.  Is he acting out, or just being 13?  chances are there are things going on in his precious heart that are making these conflicting thoughts.  Is there a younger male adult that can talk to him about his problems?  Sometimes these are the best kind.  As far as the 3 year old, bottle that energy up and sell it if possible.. cause DANG kids are unstoppable. 

I hope things are better in Podunk,
NTRP

p.s. no not on FB just twitter.
6

#60 | 257 days ago

 sports_schmorts wrote:
Dear Hazel Hater,

     Ask her to wear blue contacts, if the urge is still there, then its the woman you are attracted to and not her eyes.  Don't break a date with her, that is just sad.. just request her to change her eye color. 

This message brought to you by Hazel Eyes are Better than Brown,
NTRP
Thank you Hazel Eyed Goddess...

After lunch,,,the obsession seems to have been relieved...and I can see things in a new light. I'm so certain your astute words have made the difference...(or was it turning the valve and releasing the pressure?)...

We're not worthy...

Signed:

Drained and seeing clearer now...
Seriously, help...  
7

#61 | 257 days ago

 (Edited by Jess)
Raven73 wrote:
What? You're such a nice guy...sarcastic, but awesomely nice! Well, if I was younger and single.
 Me? Sarcastic?  You couldn't find 100 people on here to agree with that?  And if you were younger and single, my trip to Nebraska would probably have been that much more fun.

fixed by Jess
Other  
12

#62 | 257 days ago

  Dear Ms. Randompants,

I recently made a post, where I simply agreed with the person that made a comment to me.  Lo and Behold, the community manager, and fellow mod, came in and edited my post.  How can we stop this mod on mod hate and live peacefully in the Qmunity?

Signed,
Not Afraid of Jess
Other  
12

#63 | 257 days ago

 hskrdave wrote:
 Dear Ms. Randompants,

I recently made a post, where I simply agreed with the person that made a comment to me.  Lo and Behold, the community manager, and fellow mod, came in and edited my post.  How can we stop this mod on mod hate and live peacefully in the Qmunity?

Signed,
Not Afraid of Jess
Dear You should be,
   LOL sucks to be you.

Skurred of Jess...
NTRP
10

#64 | 257 days ago

 sports_schmorts wrote:
Dear You should be,
   LOL sucks to be you.

Skurred of Jess...
NTRP
 as soon as you gave me the bold, i knew you were on her side.

thanks for nothing ms. scaredyrandompants.
Other  
12

#65 | 257 days ago

 (Edited by cuddles127017)
Dear  Miss Randompants,   How should a 68 year old female answer her 40 something yr old children when they ask her if she has been doing the hanky-panky?
Awaiting your answer,
Tiredofthedrill
Other  
11

#66 | 257 days ago

 cuddles127017 wrote:
Dear  Miss Randompants,   How should a 68 year old female answer her 40 something yr old children when they ask her if she has been doing the hanky-panky?
Awaiting your answer,
Tiredofthedrill
Dear Tired,

   My suggestion, traumatize them.. give them details they don't want to hear.  This should stop the questions. 

Keep on Rockin' girl!

NTRP
17

#67 | 257 days ago
mooser58 (+)

cuddles127017 wrote:
Dear  Miss Randompants,   How should a 68 year old female answer her 40 something yr old children when they ask her if she has been doing the hanky-panky?
Awaiting your answer,
Tiredofthedrill
Technically if you are tired of the drill, doesn't that answer the question? 
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
11

#68 | 257 days ago

 Dear Mrs. Randompants,

I found a pair of boxer shorts in my laundry the other day.... and i dont know whos they are... what should i do?
10

#69 | 256 days ago

 Dear Ms. Randompants
I should have taken your advice and request a Q-juvenation hour at work, but I didn't and now all the MEN in the office got raises today and all the (three) women are stagnant.  Any suggestions for us on how to request one?  PS, He's notoriously cheap frugal.

Sincerey,
Mightbelookingforanewjobsoon
Help me N.T.Randompants  
3

#70 | 256 days ago

 Dear Ms Randompants:
I recently wrote to you about a cheese shortage I was experiencing.  Your advice hardly helped at all, to be honest, but I was impressed by your prompt reply.  You give easily of yourself to those of us lost in life and unsure of how to navigate life's trials.  I'm sure you seldom get feedback so I wanted you to know this:  I bought some cheese last night at Food Lion.  Made a cheeseburger and it was tasty.
Thanks,
NeededCheeseThe OtherNightBut WasTooLazySoIWaitedTillLastNightandItWasGood. 
I don't have anything  
7

#71 | 256 days ago

 mojorisin188 wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants,

I found a pair of boxer shorts in my laundry the other day.... and i dont know whos they are... what should i do?
Dear dirty laundry,
   I would think about the last few nights, were there any where you woke up in a daze, a morning of feeling a lil lost like you had a wild night but might have forgotten?   There is a possibility that there was a night of blessed union that you have forgotten.  My other question is do you have community laundry?  you have  your neighbors drawers.  ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Hope you find the rightful owner.
NTRP
6

#72 | 256 days ago

 JrCanuckFan wrote:
Dear Ms. Randompants
I should have taken your advice and request a Q-juvenation hour at work, but I didn't and now all the MEN in the office got raises today and all the (three) women are stagnant.  Any suggestions for us on how to request one?  PS, He's notoriously cheap frugal.

Sincerey,
Mightbelookingforanewjobsoon
Dear Boss is an Ahole,
   Oh em gee, I am so very sorry for that!  I think it might be time to find a new job.  The fact that he passed over the women is just rediculous.  I would also contact a lawyer, that is highly uncalled for.  I am truly truly sorry. 

Hope things look up for you soon.
NTRP
6

#73 | 256 days ago

 TerikaHarifa wrote:
Dear Ms Randompants:
I recently wrote to you about a cheese shortage I was experiencing.  Your advice hardly helped at all, to be honest, but I was impressed by your prompt reply.  You give easily of yourself to those of us lost in life and unsure of how to navigate life's trials.  I'm sure you seldom get feedback so I wanted you to know this:  I bought some cheese last night at Food Lion.  Made a cheeseburger and it was tasty.
Thanks,
NeededCheeseThe OtherNightBut WasTooLazySoIWaitedTillLastNightandItWasGood. 
Dear Cheeseburger in paradise,

   Aww thank you so much for the mixed kind words, I appreciate it greatly!    I am glad you found your cheese, and had I known it was to top a patty of ground beef I would have made other suggestions.  My suggestions were purely for the lack of cheese for grilled cheese... those are the only things close enough to match the wonder of golden breaded cheese with succulent gooey cheese.

Now I am hungry for grilled cheese, I in part blame mainly you.
NTRP
9

#74 | 256 days ago

 Dear Ms. Randompants,

I think you are my neighbor, well at least in the same state.

Now for my question.  I spent way too long putting together a post in mooser's movie quotes thread yesterday only to have it all disappear after I clicked on submit.  Does this site eat those and how can I get it back?

Signed,
BummedIspentallthattimefornothing
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
4

#75 | 256 days ago

 I_Bleed_Purple wrote:
Dear Ms. Randompants,

I think you are my neighbor, well at least in the same state.

Now for my question.  I spent way too long putting together a post in mooser's movie quotes thread yesterday only to have it all disappear after I clicked on submit.  Does this site eat those and how can I get it back?

Signed,
BummedIspentallthattimefornothing
Dear Colin Quinn,
  Well its who you look like.. lol  You might be my neighbor... is that your Nissan with the tinted windows in my cul de sac? 

Unfortunately the site sometimes eats comments, other times a good refresh will bring it back.  But because the site is still "Beta" and developing, there are some kinks that need to be worked out.  Welcome to the site, and I hope this doesn't detour you from the excitement!!! 

Have you bought your #4 Purple jersey yet?  ::shudders::
NTRP
5

#76 | 256 days ago

 sports_schmorts wrote:
Dear Colin Quinn,
  Well its who you look like.. lol  You might be my neighbor... is that your Nissan with the tinted windows in my cul de sac? 

Unfortunately the site sometimes eats comments, other times a good refresh will bring it back.  But because the site is still "Beta" and developing, there are some kinks that need to be worked out.  Welcome to the site, and I hope this doesn't detour you from the excitement!!! 

Have you bought your #4 Purple jersey yet?  ::shudders::
NTRP


I don't look that old, do I?  :(

No, that's not my Nissan and I'm not stalking you.  I live in the cities, I think you're up north or something...

No, it won't deter me, just sucks is all after spending some time on it.

Nope, no #4 Purple yet, can't buy them until after they announce that he's signed!
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
2

#77 | 256 days ago

 I_Bleed_Purple wrote:
I don't look that old, do I?  :(

No, that's not my Nissan and I'm not stalking you.  I live in the cities, I think you're up north or something...

No, it won't deter me, just sucks is all after spending some time on it.

Nope, no #4 Purple yet, can't buy them until after they announce that he's signed!
maybe... kidding.. :P

"the cities" that makes me laugh every time.  Makes me feel like I live in the sticks... oh wait.. I do.

If it makes you feel any better I once lost an entire blog.. the site ate it....and my blogs were/are dang good too..

I have a jersey curse, so I am going to buy one just to break him.. 
2

#78 | 255 days ago

 Dear Mrs. Randompants,

I talked to my payroll department this morning ad said that the system would not accept my bank's routing number, and that when I did a search nothing came up.  I was told "that's strange because we work with all the local banks."  I responded "well apparently you don't deal with mine because it's not showing up in your system."  I am bending over backwards and still getting nowhere.  They have an email from me as well as a fax with the information waiting for them when they get to work in the morning.  How can I make sure that I get my money next Friday when it's payday without having to go beat a UPMC payroll person with a baseball bat?

Signed,
UPMCcankissmya$$
Seriously, help...  
4

#79 | 255 days ago

 kramer wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants,

I talked to my payroll department this morning ad said that the system would not accept my bank's routing number, and that when I did a search nothing came up.  I was told "that's strange because we work with all the local banks."  I responded "well apparently you don't deal with mine because it's not showing up in your system."  I am bending over backwards and still getting nowhere.  They have an email from me as well as a fax with the information waiting for them when they get to work in the morning.  How can I make sure that I get my money next Friday when it's payday without having to go beat a UPMC payroll person with a baseball bat?

Signed,
UPMCcankissmya$$
beep beep beep,  I'm sorry, the number you have dialed has been disconnected.  Please hang up and check the number you are dialing...

mmmkay thanks and bub bye :P
7

#80 | 255 days ago

 kramer wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants,

I talked to my payroll department this morning ad said that the system would not accept my bank's routing number, and that when I did a search nothing came up.  I was told "that's strange because we work with all the local banks."  I responded "well apparently you don't deal with mine because it's not showing up in your system."  I am bending over backwards and still getting nowhere.  They have an email from me as well as a fax with the information waiting for them when they get to work in the morning.  How can I make sure that I get my money next Friday when it's payday without having to go beat a UPMC payroll person with a baseball bat?

Signed,
UPMCcankissmya$$
 if you take the baseball bat, maybe a scout from the  Pirates will see you.
Other  
6

#81 | 250 days ago

 sports_schmorts wrote:
maybe... kidding.. :P

"the cities" that makes me laugh every time.  Makes me feel like I live in the sticks... oh wait.. I do.

If it makes you feel any better I once lost an entire blog.. the site ate it....and my blogs were/are dang good too..

I have a jersey curse, so I am going to buy one just to break him.. 

Now why would you have to go and do a mean thing like that?  I'm looking forward to whatever he can do to help!

I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
3

Poor Quality (4) This comment was voted poor quality by FanIQ (Show anyway)
#83 | 250 days ago

 BigBasin1977 wrote:
Dear Ms Randompants,

I have a severe addiction to answering locker room polls?  Is there a support group for me?
i think alot of us are that way too lol i do not think theirs a cure for it lol
Other  
1

#84 | 250 days ago

 CRAZY_LADY wrote:
if you would treat all woman with respected and stop  downing  them all the time with hateful words  and keep your fists and what ever else you find to beat a woman  with  you men just might get a woman a good one that will want to be around you men and not take you to the cleaner  for abused NOW before i get told off  not all men are SOB  and they know how to treat and talk to a woman . and everything i said can be turned around and said to about woman yes their are abusive woman  . and your not alone  on hate and untrust for men ??
 I'm sorry.  Did you just call me a woman abuser?  I think you might want to retract that since you don't know anything about me.
Other  
9

#85 | 243 days ago

 sports_schmorts wrote:
beep beep beep,  I'm sorry, the number you have dialed has been disconnected.  Please hang up and check the number you are dialing...

mmmkay thanks and bub bye :P
thanks alots
2

#86 | 243 days ago

 Anthonyg7575 wrote:
Apparently not....I recommend that you try this....

Here
hey i didn't hear anything ...
Other  
6

#87 | 243 days ago

 KitNKaboodle wrote:
hey i didn't hear anything ...
Smarta**....lol
I don't need help, but my "friend" does.  
5

#88 | 242 days ago
haroldjsn (+)

sports_schmorts wrote:
beep beep beep,  I'm sorry, the number you have dialed has been disconnected.  Please hang up and check the number you are dialing...

mmmkay thanks and bub bye :P
i like this , i am from India
2

#89 | 227 days ago

 Seriously, good reading...lol.  Thanks for the entertainment, you all rock!!!
I don't have anything  
4

#90 | 216 days ago

 Classic Nellie going on here!
Seriously, help...  
2

#91 | 189 days ago
kozi_12345 (+)

half_baked wrote:
Dear Mrs. Randompants...

Brown eyes, brown eyes, and more brown eyes...its all I obsess about to the extent that I dismiss blue, green and other colored eyes. Help me...

Wedged under a desk dreaming of brown eyes...

Your squishin me...... lol                   (Im under your desk with u) hmmmmm 
4

#92 | 189 days ago

 Dear Mrs Randompants:

This Pretty Blond lady neighbor keeps showing up at my door in the middle of the night with wine and a strap, tell me she is a bad girl ................ Should I let Her in.

Sleepless
Help me N.T.Randompants  
4

#93 | 189 days ago

 mooser58 wrote:
Dear Ms. RandomPants,

I am not sure who's pants I have on.....what should I do????
come on mooser, just take them off, i'll vote you the head of a nudist colony
Seriously, help...  
2

#94 | 188 days ago

 kozi_12345 wrote:
Your squishin me...... lol                   (Im under your desk with u) hmmmmm 


Seriously, help...  
1


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