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25
Random Thoughts - Part 1 (Edited 05/31/10 09:50AM by )
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That's enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- Was learning cursive really necessary?

- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

| Closed on 05/31/10 at 05:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room, Entertainment | Numeric Input Opinion Poll
23 Fans
Question
75.1641. Random Thoughts - Part 1

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#13 | 1751 days ago
mooser58 (+)

Let me know if you ever find that sarcasm font.
58  
  
40 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 1751 days ago

Stepsdads, LMAO!! Wow, that ain`t right.
514  
#2 | 1751 days ago
adamace (+)

those were all good.

and yes, learning cursive was necessary.

good penmanship can get you laid. trust me.
#3 | 1751 days ago

I didn't know you had to say what I always thought you were suppose to just nod and smile.I have been doing it wrong. What about the saying blondes have more fun.You know we really do LOL
3  
#4 | 1751 days ago

adamace wrote:
those were all good.

and yes, learning cursive was necessary.

good penmanship can get you laid. trust me.
I heard the worse the handwriting, the smarter you are...that what doctors tell me anyways. 
#5 | 1751 days ago

From the genius Mitch Hedberg

You know when Pringles first started out they were actually going to manufacture tennis balls, but their first shipment got mixed up and they got a truck full of potato’s. Pringles is a laid back company though so they’re like “Fu$k it, cut ‘em up!”
#6 | 1751 days ago
adamace (+)

jswol54 wrote:
I heard the worse the handwriting, the smarter you are...that what doctors tell me anyways. 
that's crap.

they're just player-hatin'.
#7 | 1751 days ago

Really, no one?  No one at all?  OK, I'll go ...
Repeat poll! 

21  
#8 | 1751 days ago

janet011685 wrote:

Really, no one?  No one at all?  OK, I'll go ...
Repeat poll! 

Haha...I just looked right now and noticed the same thing!
#9 | 1751 days ago

(Edited by jswol54)
janet011685 wrote:

Really, no one?  No one at all?  OK, I'll go ...
Repeat poll! 

My bad, the fella that posted this on another site was lambasted for posting this again.  Hopefully y'all will take it easy on me....
#10 | 1751 days ago

AHEM ... Could you repeat that?   
(taking off my jewelry, tying my hair back, and getting ready to rumble) 
21  
#11 | 1751 days ago

(Edited by hskrdave)
Thanks bro...here are the rest of them since everyone has already seen them.....

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d!ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
I'm sure you guys got some funny stuff to add
#12 | 1751 days ago
JRSFLAME88 (+)

janet011685 wrote:

Really, no one?  No one at all?  OK, I'll go ...
Repeat poll! 

Thank you!  I think it was me and you with the plastic grocery bags in the Other one!    DUP!
#13 | 1751 days ago
mooser58 (+)

Let me know if you ever find that sarcasm font.
58  
#14 | 1751 days ago

(Edited by lleedubb)

John....I... AM...IN...AWE....OF...YOU!!!!!!....Just goes to show that we crazy ass Humans are all basically the SAME!!!...

#15 | 1751 days ago

mooser58 wrote:
Let me know if you ever find that sarcasm font.
Maybe we (the esteemed members of the "Q")..need to agree on a sarcasm font because i desperately, desperately, need it!!!
#16 | 1751 days ago

All i say is WTF  
7.77  
#17 | 1751 days ago

 If man says something and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?
69  
#18 | 1751 days ago

JRSFLAME88 wrote:
Thank you!  I think it was me and you with the plastic grocery bags in the Other one!    DUP!
Yep, I'm pretty sure you're right about that one ... I distinctly remember discussing how the bags leave pressure marks on my hands, and turn my fingers purple, because I insist on carrying like 47 bags at once rather than making a second trip.  lol
21  
#19 | 1751 days ago

How random
#20 | 1751 days ago
bmcannon1 (+)

(Edited by bmcannon1)
janet011685 wrote:
AHEM ... Could you repeat that?   
(taking off my jewelry, tying my hair back, and getting ready to rumble) 
"And Now Ladies and Gentleman.........Lets Get Ready To Ruuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmbleeeeee"
#21 | 1751 days ago

Good Ramdom thoughts and all of these are being done in everyday life and I am  enjoying every minute of  it   as to cursive learning I do agree it's real important and necessary  so that we can live in a world fully
#22 | 1750 days ago

hskrdave wrote:
 If man says something and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?
Well of course, blankety blank, blank did you think otherwise?
69  
#23 | 1750 days ago

jswol54 wrote:
I heard the worse the handwriting, the smarter you are...that what doctors tell me anyways. 
I don't think he mentioned being smart just satisfyed. I am just saying...
69  
#24 | 1750 days ago

You know that random blathering is a sign of either a nervous breakdown or mental defect.
0  
#25 | 1750 days ago

blondie45044 wrote:
Well of course, blankety blank, blank did you think otherwise?
 well considering since i don't have a woman and currently always right, i wanted to check before i started dating again.
69  
#26 | 1750 days ago

hskrdave wrote:
 well considering since i don't have a woman and currently always right, i wanted to check before i started dating again.
Cough Cough hang on to that dream!  Good luck young man we are always looking for Mr. Right.
I should say someone is always looking for Mr Right, just not always right.
69  
#27 | 1750 days ago

blondie45044 wrote:
Cough Cough hang on to that dream!  Good luck young man we are always looking for Mr. Right.
I should say someone is always looking for Mr Right, just not always right.
 Hold on to what dream?  Trust me when I say I can be so bitter towards women it's unbelievable.  There are a couple on this site that could attest to it.  But for some ungodly known reason, i keep giving the females a chance.
69  
#28 | 1750 days ago

There comes a time in life we let go of the past, and begin again. It took me 20 years. When I least expected it bam someone found me. Talk about bitter he did not stand a chance, but he has stuck it out. Almost 5 years later he still is
69  
#29 | 1746 days ago

hskrdave wrote:
 Hold on to what dream?  Trust me when I say I can be so bitter towards women it's unbelievable.  There are a couple on this site that could attest to it.  But for some ungodly known reason, i keep giving the females a chance.
Are you looking for love in all the wrong places?
11  
#30 | 1746 days ago

cuddles127017 wrote:
Are you looking for love in all the wrong places?
looking for love in too many faces...

 Is there a right place?
69  
#31 | 1740 days ago

I go through these things every day. i thought i was d only 1
0  
#32 | 1740 days ago
fasterhurry (+)

Oh dear u poor baby u need a real good massage take all da stress an insaneness away
100  
#33 | 1740 days ago

hskrdave wrote:
looking for love in too many faces...

 Is there a right place?
Just become a life-long prude like me.  It's not as bad as everyone says.  Dating is for suckers!  lol
21  
#34 | 1740 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
Just become a life-long prude like me.  It's not as bad as everyone says.  Dating is for suckers!  lol
amen sista,lol
#35 | 1740 days ago

 OOps, I am still in random thoughts, picking my brains, how true.............................................introspecting.
59  
#36 | 1740 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
Just become a life-long prude like me.  It's not as bad as everyone says.  Dating is for suckers!  lol
 dating is for suckers.

friends with benefits however .....
69  
#37 | 1740 days ago

hskrdave wrote:
 dating is for suckers.

friends with benefits however .....
Hey, whoever whatever tickles your pickle. 
21  
#38 | 1740 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
Hey, whoever whatever tickles your pickle. 
 ah, there's the problem....
69  
#39 | 1739 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
Hey, whoever whatever tickles your pickle. 
tickles my pickle?
#40 | 1501 days ago

tick;e the pickle...new one....
69  

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