One of things that must suck about playing in Major League Soccer - aside from the fact that you don't get paid much and no one watches your games - is that you don't have chartered planes. That means you have to be like everyone else and sit in a crowded plane with crying babies, no foot room, and the crazy naked guy who tries to open up the emergency door in mid-flight.

Wait, what?

Yes, the New England Revolution found themselves in a remarkably strange situation the other day on a flight from Boston to Los Angeles when a passenger strolled into the lavatory and came out completely naked. All right.

Of course, when you're on a plane, and someone's wandering around naked, about the only thing you can do is ask them to put their clothes back on.

Craig Tornberg, the soccer team’s general manager, said he confronted the man as soon as he saw him emerge naked from one of the plane’s restrooms.

“I said he should get back into the bathroom and put on his clothes,” Tornberg said.

Solid call, Craig. Anyway, the man put his clothes back on, sat down, and then made a beeline for the emergency exit and attempted to open it.

Luckily the brave members of the New England Revolution subdued the guy before he could do anything. He was actually tied up in a seat to prevent him from doing anything and the plane was forced to stop in Oklahoma City so the man could be detained and taken in for medical evaluation.

The moral of the story here? I think we all know the answer to that. Never, ever, fly commercial. Ever.

I can't tell you how much it annoys me that we completely over-celebrate celebrity in our culture. It's quite literally sick.

But it has it's hilarious moments too, like when those braindead entertainment "reporters" ask those ridiculous red carpet questions that neither inform us of of anything nor reveal anything.

"Justin! Justin! Justin! Tell us how your new album is going!"

"Good."

I learned so much there that my brain is about to explode.

But I think what's even funnier is this interview above with Cristiano Ronaldo. He was in LA for the ESPYs and because the ESPYs combine celebrity AND sports (hooray!) we were subjected to Ronaldo getting interviewed by someone who knows little to nothing about soccer. And naturally, their first question was when is he coming to LA to play with Beckham and the Galaxy.

The man is 23, is the best soccer player on earth, and considers being paid $240,000 a week the equivalent of slavery.

So, in other words, I'd expect him over here by next week.

Perhaps I'm being too harsh here, and some people might counter by saying, hey, following sports is no different from following celebrities. I guess that may be true on some level. But personally, I think knowing a pitcher's ERA is slightly less creepy than knowing what Angelina Jolie eats for breakfast every morning. There's quite literally no reason why you need to know that.

[HT: Fanhouse]