DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT mess with David Stern. Ok, that or karma.

You tank, you lose.

The incredible story tonight will be the Celtics unthinkable slide to 5th. 5th! But I really can't feel bad. Danny Ainge doesn't deserve any better. Ok, we'll have plenty more on the Lottery results in the morning. Onto my quick mock draft. This isn't who I think they'll pick, but who I'd pick.

1. Portland - Couldn't be any happier for this franchise. Their fans, arguable the best in the league, deserve better than the Jailblazers. They were run to laugh at, now they're not going to be any fun to play. Durant is an intriguing option here, but you just can't pass on Greg Oden. He's not Sam Bowie. Needless to say, Henry Abbott is pleased.

2. Seattle - Perhaps Kevin Durant can save the franchise? If not, Las Vegas/Oklahoma City has itself another must see event in town.

3. Atlanta - Earlier today I said Al Horford was a must at this spot, but then what would they do with Sheldon Williams. I smell a trade here. If the Hawks don't get themselves a top PG this draft, then they don't deserve to have a team anymore. For the sake of this mock, Mike Conley Jr is the choice.

4. Memphis - That face Jerry West had was definitely, "Ah %&$ it, I'm not going to be here anyway." Have to go with Al Horford at this spot. Versatile, can move up and down the court in their run first offense, but gives the Grizzlies some strength and low post scoring.

5. Boston - Is it wrong, that all I can do is laugh. Laugh at Danny Ainge, laugh at the notion they thought they could tank and Stern would be cool with it. Laugh at the fan who brought the #20 Oden Celtics jersey. I do feel bad, however. I'm just hoping Bill Simmons dad makes it to see the sun rise tomorrow. Hardly a consolation, but Brandan Wright will have to do. If you have a friend that's a C's fan, keep your eye out.

6. Milwaukee - Bucks can't pass up on the versatility of Corey Brewer.

7. Minnesota - I was really hoping KG might get some positive news. Not sure it's what he's looking for, but how about Yi Jianlian to take some heat of the Kevin the paint?

8. Charlotte - This is a wildcard. The same management that drafted Kwame Brown may be unpredictable. I'd take Jeff Green.

9. Chicago - Speaking of karma ... all my ripping of Joakim Noah might end with me having to cheer him on. Of course, this is who I'd select and I'm going to go with local boy Julian Wright for some low post scoring.

10. Sacramento - Noah would make some sense, but something tells me the Maloffs want more flash as would I. I'm taking Al Thornton.

11. Atlanta - Since they already got their point guard in Conley, Roy Hibbert.

12. Philadelphia -  6'11, work ethic unlike many others. Hopefully Philly will like Joakim Noah.

13. New Orleans - Spencer Hawes would make some sense.

14. Los Angeles - Sam Cassell is getting O-L-D. Acie Law IV.

There you have it. Those are my immediate reactions and picks. Plenty more in the morning, but first I want to hear what you have to say about the Celtics slide and who you'd take with the top selections.

Happy Trails (ESPN)
(Photo by Jennifer Pottheiser/NBAE via Getty Images)